Budget: Finding the Money, Part I -- The Small Stuff

Welcome to a two-part series all about helping you find the money for your wedding in your everyday life. So many of us are worried about being able to afford the costs of our dream wedding; after all, the average wedding costs nearly $28,000 (according to The Knot), and few of us have that kind of cash just lying around. Today we'll be focusing on the small, daily things you can do to start saving the money for your wedding. Just remember: it's not about how much you spend or how extravagant you make your reception. It's all about the love between you and your SO... big wedding or not.

There are simple steps you can take to make the huge task of money-managing more, well, manageable.

First, make a budget
If you already have one for everyday life, great! You're a huge part of the way there; most Americans really don't know how much they're spending on a day-to-day or monthly basis, even for things like food and clothing. Make a budget that accurately reflects what you're currently spending on these items, plus rent/utilities or house payments, car payments, phone bills, etc. and a realistic approximation of how much you spend on "luxury" items. Base it on a week, two weeks, or a month, rather than a year, as this will allow you to tackle your spending more easily.

The Mint has personal budget software and a service that synchronizes all your bank accounts for you. It's a sign-up service, but free (probably because the banks that work with them pay a fee).
Budget Tracker is less pretty but just as free, allowing a wide range of services and applications for budgeting, paying bills, etc. This one is also sign-up-based.

Now, really look at it
Take a hard look at your spending. Are you paying more than you should by going over your minutes on your cell phone, or going on several shopping sprees a month? Are you buying too much food? What about your luxuries?

The point of making a budget in the first place is to force yourself to face the reality of what you spend. By scrutinizing where your money is going, you'll be better able to figure out where you can cut back in order to save for your wedding (or for any large purchase later in life).

Then find ways to cut back
This doesn't have to be complicated. You don't necessarily have to invest your money in order to afford a wedding. Since we're focusing on the "small stuff" today, we'll look at habits that can be scaled back in order to save.

*Do your own "round up" program. You know those bank accounts that round up what you spend to the next $0.50 or $1, and put the difference in your savings? You don't necessarily need to sign up for a program like that in order to reap those kinds of benefits. Since you have a good budget now, try this: Portion a realistic amount to spend per week (or month) on something that tends to be the same week-to-week (or month-to-month) -- say, grocery bills. Make a mental note, or if you're prone to overspending, take only that amount of cash with you when you go shopping. If you spend less than that, put the difference into a savings account. Even a few dollars a week can add up pretty quickly. If you tend to spend more than that on a frequent basis, you probably haven't budgeted it right. Fix it, then try again.
Or sign up for rounding programs that match your own contribution, like the one at Bank of America.

*Cut coupons. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's boring and seems silly, but it's surprising how much this can really add up. If you use Internet coupons, make sure your local stores are taking them in order to avoid a headache when checking out. Pair this with the previous tip, and you can really start to see the difference!

*Learn to cook well. Not only is cooking fun, but it can be a cost-effective way of entertaining yourselves and others. If you're in the habit of going to a nice restaurant every Saturday night, that can really take a bite out of your potential savings. Scale back this activity by making it a "night in." Find an intriguing recipe (not too complicated if you're just starting the gourmet stuff) in a cookbook or on the Internet (I really like AllRecipes.com -- look for ones with a high star rating). Set some mood lighting if you want an "experience." This is nearly always less expensive than going to a restaurant, and if you cook with your fiancé(e), it can be a more meaningful weekly date.

*Stay in for movie night. Like cooking your own gourmet meal, this can still be special without having to spend so much money. I really do understand that going to the movies is an "experience" that can't be duplicated, but instead of doing that every week, cut down to once a month and stay in for movie night the rest of the time. Rent a movie from a local video rental store (I have a Video Warehouse near me that's a "membership" based store, but rents at rock-bottom prices) or from a service like Netflix. (Alternatively, watch movies via the Internet at a site like hulu.com, which offers commercial movies and TV shows.) You can make this a fun date, too, by popping your own popcorn or making fresh cookies, turning off the lights and snuggling close together.

*Play online instead of on a console. If you, like my fiancé, are an avid gamer, you know that buying all those new games can add up really quickly. Why not play free online games instead? There are many interesting ones -- even high-quality ones, too, that are worth playing. Unlike some MMORPGs, they aren't all fee-based. Check out Liberated Games (a clean, crisp site listing a bunch of available games) or Net-Games (a busier site chock-full of links to smaller games) for some insights.

*Cut out the latte. You knew this one was coming, didn't you? With the economy in a bit of a confusion, Starbucks is closing a number of its stores... no doubt due to people cutting back on their daily coffees in order to save money. Lattes are the classic "luxury" items that most people drop as soon as they need to cut back on their spending. Here I'm using it not as a specific item, but as a symbol: What is your "latte" that you're spending an money for, on a daily or weekly basis? Turn your latte into homemade coffee -- find ways to substitute those luxuries for something similar, cheaper, yet still satisfactory. You can do it! That's what DIY is for, after all.

Find more ways to live better and more frugally at The Simple Dollar, a wonderful blog by a regular guy who has figured out how to live well without spending a lot. He also has great advice about how to avoid making mistakes and what to do if you've made a big one. It's worth checking out even if you think you're doing well financially.

A note to my readers: I am not paid for nor am I advertising these links. Most of these are just for your benefit: I gather them while browsing the Web if I think they might be useful to you. If you find that they are not as I've described, or have any other useful knowledge, please leave me a comment.

Tips & Techniques: Be Your Own DJ

One of the most important things about DIY'ing your own wedding is to realize what is and isn't important to you, thereby enabling you to cut back on things you don't care about in order to afford the things you really want. For my fiancé and I, although we are musicians and music lovers, having a live band or DJ just wasn't all that important. My relatives and friends wouldn't really appreciate (or dance to) a great live band, as appealing as it sounds, and I've never really liked DJ services all that much. They seem a little cheesy and I knew that all it would do would make my guests feel a little uncomfortable. Many brides have friends just dying to fill the role. But if you don't have a friend willing to stand in, don't despair! There are plenty of low-cost and do-it-yourself options out there waiting to be explored.

Enlist a funny, outgoing relative or friend as the Master of Ceremonies. They don't have to be "full-time" DJ, but they can help by announcing the various parts of your reception. This is important because it keeps your guests from getting confused, frustrated, or irritated that they don't know what's happening. A good MC can really bring a party to life. Even an "okay" one can keep things rolling smoothly along.

But what about the music? There are two approaches to the problem of playing music in today's high-tech world. (Used to be my dad would make reel-to-reel tapes... those babies last a couple hours at least! But no more... digital music has replaced all that analog. Use it to your advantage!)

The Micro-Manager, Type A Person
Yeah... you know you want all the correct songs in an exact order, don't you? If you have an iPod or mp3 player and a program like iTunes, you're lucky! This is my favored option, mostly because I'm really picky about the songs I want to play and in what order I think they "should" be playing. First, go through your library of songs and determine which of those you want to play. Buy any that you don't have but want, whatever your favorite way of buying new music is. Then compose your playlist(s). There are two distinct ways to do this:

1) Make one Master Playlist of all the songs you'll want, and if you have a favored order, also organize them accordingly. You'll have to appoint someone to keep an eye/ear on the proceedings (a good idea anyway to make sure your mp3 player or laptop doesn't, ahem, walk away). You can choose to shuffle the playlist if you're not particular about the order.

2) Make several different playlists according to the time or kind of song... for example, a playlist composed of your "special dance" songs (first dance, father/daughter dance, wedding party dance, etc.). You can also choose to have a playlist for background dinner music, "get up and party" music, music to play after the older folks have gone to bed... anything you want! Again you can choose to either pick a specific order or to shuffle them. Appoint someone to switch playlists at the appropriate moment.

The Laid-Back, Type B Person
Yeah... you know you're not really sure about what you want played anyway. You want a certain kind of music, maybe, but who even has that much music on their computer/in their album collection anyway? I know there are plenty of people (not me, heehee) who don't have an extensive collection of random music at their disposal. That's why choose-your-music Internet radio is so awesome. Basically, you input the kind of music you like -- a band or singer, or several -- and it comes up with similar music that the program has analyzed and "thinks" you might like. It never runs out of songs and most of the time will not play the same song twice in one session. Just chill... input the kind of thing you want, rate it accordingly until it plays what you want it to, and simply log in for a no-hassle DJ-less option. The only requirement is an Internet access point... be sure to ask your venue well ahead of time if this is possible.

A couple great personalized Internet radio sites:
Pandora
last.fm

Both of these require you to bring your relatively expensive technological equipment to your reception. To minimize scares, appoint someone to be in charge of them and to take them back safely once the reception is over. If you're still unsure but you have an old laptop you hardly use, take that one along... at least if it gets lost you won't feel as much pain.

This also usually requires the rental of appropriate equipment, like speakers and a microphone and such. Make sure that this is at least okay with your venue... you don't want to do things not with code or against your contract. Often these rentals can be done through the venue as well, which probably would make them happier too. If you can, test their equipment with yours to make sure there are no compatibility "surprises" the day of. The great thing about DJs is that they have their own professional-level equipment and know what to do if something fails. Have your own contingency plans just in case, and don't freak out.

Just remember to have fun. Choosing your own music can make the reception really personal... choose songs you both love and it will shine through!

Check This Out!

One of my favorite gals from a message board I frequent has her own blog here on Blogger/Blogspot! It's specifically aimed at maids of honor/bridesmaids, but she's got some great tips for anyone involved in a wedding.

She recently, as in yesterday I believe, was the maid of honor (slash unofficial official planner coordinator person) for her sister's wedding. Check out her site for helpful tips and funny stories!

Monster of Honor

Tips & Techniques: Name that Color!

One of the fun parts of wedding planning is choosing a beautiful palatte of colors to work with, thus making the decisions about which linens, flowers, decor, etc. to use a little easier. But how do you communicate your choices to friends and vendors without sending out hundreds of sample swatches? I can help with this sort of thing: choose the appropriate adjective(s) for your colors so everyone has a relatively clear idea of what you're talking about. To get you off on the right track, here's a summary of what each adjective really means, and how to get your maid of honor to stop picking out those cherry red dresses when you really want crimson.

First, a quick review of terms I'll be using:
Shade - simply used to describe the darkness or lightness of a particular color
Hue - the actual "color" of a color, referring to where it lands on the color wheel
Saturation - the intensity of a particular color; the more intense, the easier the color is to spot

Now, your adjectives!:

True: You've heard the expression "true blue" right? Well it actually has a more literal meaning too... these are the "pure" forms of the primary and secondary colors (blue, red, yellow and green, orange, purple), without any taint of other colors to give them a different hue. They can be slightly harsh when paired together, but choosing the right one or two can give a great clean, fresh look, particularly when paired with white. "Christmas colors" are usually true green and red, often with an accent or third color of true white.

Bright: These colors are a bit tricky to categorize, and can also (more accurately) referred to as brilliant or saturated colors. They are intense colors that seem vivid as opposed to muted, and catch the eye more easily. Bright colors are often used in "tropical" color combinations and will work well as an accent color also. Before using too many of these, I recommend spending some time with a person whose taste you really trust! Brighter colors can work well for a summer wedding and are set off well by the more intense sun at that time of year.

Neon: Neon colors are extremely bright to the eye and probably should not be used as a main color, unless you're absolutely certain that it will work well for your event. Two or more will be harsh on your guests' eyes -- think '80s Barbie clothes! Use of neon colors will often convey an informal, young tone. They can be pulled off, but ask that tasteful person you know first.

Light: These colors are a shade removed from their "true" counterparts, going up on the white scale without distorting the hue by adding other colors. Opposite of "dark," light colors are perfect for spring and summer weddings that don't want to use pastel or bright colors, respectively. Light colors are easy on the eye and, with the exception of red, work for nearly every hue as a more subdued version.

Pastel: Pastels are shades whiter than "light" colors. They are off-and-on as popular colors for spring/early summer weddings. Several pastels together can be used for a lovely effect, but be cautious when choosing them for bridesmaid dresses; many of us with "fair" skin tones get really washed out! That being said, it is of course your prerogative :)

Pale: Pale goes even a step beyond pastel in the white scale, implying a shade of color just next to white. Pale colors are barely there, and are most often paired with white as an almost "off-white on white" effect. In blue or green, pale hues work well for winter weddings with "ice" or "snow" themes. Be as careful with pale colors as pastel; too much and the effect can be washed out, both in the room and on your friends.

Dark: The opposite of "light", going down the black scale and of the same saturation as true colors. Dark colors are most often used as winter or fall colors, as they "feel" heavier than lighter colors because of the added visual weight. Dark reds are more flattering to wear, in general, then true reds or pinks and because of that (and their association with roses) remain a popular half of the white or ivory and red color combination.

Muted: These colors are opposite of "bright" and are less saturated than "true" colors (meaning they look more gray and less eye-catching). On the darker side, they are often used as fall colors in fashion, and pair well with various shades of brown. Perfect colors for autumn weddings and for gals like me that shy away from the brighter color combinations.

Dull: An extreme version of muted, dull colors are quite close to the gray end of the saturation scale. These can be used well for a nature theme or in the fall, but be careful; it can be easy to add a few too many dull colors, confusing the effect. To temper the effects of both colors, they can be paired with a "true" or even "bright" tone; just be careful with your choice!

Deep: Slightly more difficult to categorize are "deep" colors, which combine several other terms into one. "Deep" implies both a very dark color and one that is slightly muted, creating a very rich tone that seems to be full of color. Because of both of these characteristics, deep colors' best time is in the fall; deep blues and greens are fairly popular choices and can be very sophisticated. Try not to pick too many, or the effect can be overwhelming.

Dusty: Also described as "antique," and again a combination term, "dusty" colors are light/pastel/pale colors that are slightly to very muted in tone. To me they've always looked like colors you might see in your grandma's old needlepoints, and almost invariably when I'm doing needlework I see a color described as "dusty rose." These can easily make you seem stuffy, but just as easily can be a lovely understatement, particularly with a theme of "something old."

Note that many names of colors encompass an implication of these terms without directly using them, and some of those colors are hotly disputed. It's hard to go wrong with "pure white,"* but ask someone what "periwinkle" is and you'll get a different explanation every time. For an absolutely awesome list of color names and what they mean, see The Phrontistery. Don't expect everyone to know what they mean, however; use the above information to tell everyone what you have in mind, and for absolute clarity pick up samples (paint chips, small swatches of fabrics, true-printed papers, etc.) to give out. And for goodness' sake, don't rely on a vendor's color name to match what you think the color "should" be! Always check it first; I read a story the other day about a lady fuming mad that her "apple" colored maid-of-honor dress (one that she ordered online) was green rather than red!

Best of luck, as always!

*I know that there can be a great deal of confusion about wedding-dress whites: pure white, diamond white, ivory, and champagne are the four I can think of, and they are both fairly easy to define and pretty consistent across the wedding industry (thankfully!). Pure white is just that: white without any alteration, and in a perfect world reflects every wavelength of light. Diamond white is tinged slightly bluish, although just barely -- so "barely" it's not even a "pale blue" yet! Both of the above colors flatter darker skin tones. Ivory is a yellowish off-white that normally shows up as white in photographs unless you're standing next to something pure white in color, and flatters yellowish undertones in skin. Champagne is a darker yellow-tan color, not really a white but often an "antique" color that flatters pinkish undertones. I suggest trying on dresses in different colors to find which ones flatter you most, making sure the samples are clean enough to give you an idea of the right color (ask for a swatch of their own if you're not sure)!

I'm Back!

Phew! I had a wonderful vacation with my family, but I'm so glad to finally be out of the car! I hope you guys have had a restful middle of the summer as well.

My fiance was with us for the first time... it was a little strange to have him along for a family thing, but he fit right in. I'm really thankful it wasn't awkward. He was just breezy about the whole thing. Love him to death :)

I did have a few thoughts on the way (and some now that I've come back). Hopefully I'll have some good in-depth postings later, but for now, a word about signing up for stuff on the Internet:

If you don't have to, DON'T! I had about 200 emails waiting for me when I got back home, at least half of those "junk" mail from various wedding-related things! I signed up for some of those because I wanted to get some good tips for you guys, but they just keep coming. It's fun to sign up for sweepstakes, but try to use a junk account for it. Otherwise you'll be completely inundated with stuff you don't care about. For now I just manage it and try to farm them for tips to pass on ;) Not really that useful, though. Most of it you can search for on wedding-related sites. After awhile, it all looks the same, unfortunately.

Especially avoid David's Bridal. I'm sure they can be a great place to find a bargain dress, but they sell your email address to companies that aren't even wedding-related. Not cool. If you want "updates" on their products, check out their website every once in awhile. They don't send coupons through emails either; all their discounts are for everyone (which is actually great). They cycle those sales through, so if you miss one, wait for the next. Just don't sign up to win a free dress or to get information! It's not worth it!

There, now I've gotten that out of the way :) I hope you've had a great and productive 3 weeks while I've been gone!