On the Hunt: Visiting Venues

My fiancé and I just spent the last three days looking at different sites -- our first real "wedding planning" stuff together! We had a lot of fun. There are so many different options out there, and it's especially interesting to look at places that embody both "where" you are and "who" you are as a couple. You want to ensure that the ceremony and reception are both of these -- or at least the latter. Since many in both our families are from different parts of the US, we want to reflect what's unique about our city and region.

So far we've looked at three very different kinds of places. There are several other types we're considering as well, but since we've only visited four sites (two of them the same "kind" of thing) I'm not sure yet what we'll pick. But it's really wonderful to see all these sites... it's definitely one of the most exciting parts of this whole thing so far.

The first was a little surprising to me; by the time we went to the appointment I had forgotten completely what the venue actually looks like. In some places, like ours, there are a number of "banquet halls" to rent; since where I live there aren't a lot of Elk Lodges and the like, these fill in the gaps. Most of the time, they are relatively inexpensive to rent, and many of them offer in-house catering/waitstaff with options to include other services like decorations, music, different linens, etc. The downside is that they usually have no windows and are in places like malls or strip malls with bland exteriors like "big box" stores. I have no problem with people who decide to go this route; our quote was around $4500 for the rental and catering (low end of the entrée pricing) and fits well into a budget that can't be stretched far. The decorations inside are very nice (small chandeliers and strands of Christmas-tree lights along the ceiling) and there's a dance floor and stage... everything you might want in a basic room for several different purposes. Although it's not for us, it's definitely something we would consider if we had a tighter budget. If you decide to go with this kind of hall, check out several if you can and pay attention to the state of the venue itself: is it stained or otherwise dirty? Does it smell fresh or stale? Do the decorations act as a good "base" for the kind of décor you envision? If there are options for you, make sure you carefully check everything out and pick the things and people you're most comfortable with. I should emphasize the latter; if the staff makes you feel uncomfortable, choose someplace else! It won't hurt them, and in the end everyone

The second type of place we've seen is an old historic home re-made into a "special event venue" -- these places tend to have a number of in-house services, and both of the places we looked at had suggested vendors as well. One of the best parts of these places, other than some of the discounts you may get with an "all-inclusive" package, is a wedding coordinator and/or a wedding director. Rather than having to do everything yourself you get someone who has years of experience to help you during the day of -- yeah, I know the title of the site is "DIY" but who really wants to be pulled every which way during their wedding day? The downside with these places is that some of them don't allow you to get outside vendors to come in -- the last site we visited requires all the centerpieces, linens, decorating flowers, etc. to be through them. Dang, I've already purchased candleholders for centerpieces! I haven't talked to them about this little snag (there may be a way to work with them -- I don't know) but it makes me feel a little restricted even when they have an abundance of options. This same place has a minimum centerpiece/florist fee of $325, which is fine... but I was planning on spending no more than $150 total on that stuff. Still, it might be worth it because of reduced costs in other aspects. It just bothers me a little. The first site like this we visited, however, has a different policy; while they have "regular" linens, table settings, and centerpieces, they allow you to get outside vendors and will work with them to produce your "vision" (I hate that term, but... what can you do?). I'd definitely ask about this when you have initial meetings with this type of venue; you don't want to be surprised after you already have your heart set on something!

The third type of place was something in-between. It seems like it had been built specifically for events -- like the first type -- but with the surroundings in mind, as though they'd been built like a house. This particular one has huge windows and a tall ceiling with a little balcony overseeing the main floor; the exterior has a small garden (with gorgeous spring-blooming plants, a gazebo, and an old-style water fountain!) that can be used for small- to medium-sized ceremonies. It is really stunning and contemporary, although the pictures on the website really don't do it justice. My groom likes this one the best so far. We're both very impressed. But we'll definitely be looking at other sites before we decide anything final.

It works really well to find a number of sites somehow -- suggestions of friends, websites, local wedding planner magazines, etc. -- then set up appointments to visit each one before making any decisions. Often they can give you an estimate of sorts and tell you how they run things; the more professional types will have materials they'll give to you for your files. This can give you a great idea of how much you'd be spending on the services they provide (to whatever extent they are) and you'll have something to remind you of the visit and what you liked or didn't. Take a note of your thoughts about each one right after you've visited them (don't forget to ask your other half how they feel!) so you can compare them all more easily. Like your dress, you want to give yourself enough time and options so you can pick the one that works best for you.


P.S. I'm headed to Maine for 3 or so weeks for a family reunion, sans laptop and Internet access, so I won't be updating for awhile :( However, I'm taking some stuff along with me, so I'm sure I'll have plenty of stories and such when I get back! Good luck while I'm gone :)

Downloadables: Save the Dates

Okay, just for you guys I'm trying out a new category: Downloadables. I'll be making documents, templates, etc. and uploading them to a site where you can download them! Free, of course. :)

The first one is a set of save-the-date postcards, which you can print on pre-perforated cardstock (find them at a local office supply store). Print the first page (room for an address, postage, and a note to your guests) on one side of the cardstock, and the other (picture and info) on the opposite side.

To use the form, fill out the text fields; there are 5 in all, including (from top to bottom), the bride's name, an "&" or "and" (whatever you type), the groom's name, the date of the wedding, and the url of your wedding site. It should look something like this:




Note where each text field is and play around with it until you get it right. I had to hide the text boxes so they don't print out the ugly borders, so it's not immediately obvious where they are. Eventually I may be able to make forms like this that also have spots for images of your choice -- for now I'll be putting my own little generic drawings. If you don't have the same fonts on your computer as I do, you may get something the computer "thinks" is similar. If that bothers you please let me know.

Download the form here and save it to your computer before you work on it. Please let me know if you have any issues or problems! I'll try my best to make these things as easy to use as possible. :)

Tips & Techniques: Wedding Stationery

I've been thinking lately about all the "paper stuff" I'll be creating for our wedding. (As a hardcore DIYer, you can bet I don't want to leave that to professional printers! Although I'm sure many of you out there are way too stressed to handle this stuff yourself.) I've been getting dazed and confused trying to keep everything straight... it's amazing how all this stuff adds up. So to help myself and anyone else getting frazzled, I've put together a list of all the possible stationery items you might need to have printed (and/or coordinated!).

Sent to your guests
Invitations: I know what you're thinking: That's obvious, Joan! Of course it's obvious. But what isn't obvious is all the questions you'll have to answer: A7, square, tea length, or custom? Hand-written calligraphy, thermography, engraving, or regular printing? Heavy cardstock, handmade paper, or vellum? Ribbons and other embellishments or plain? Pocket or other enclosure, tissue, or just stuck into the envelope? I'm sure I'm missing several questions, but I think you get my point!
Invitation envelopes: Another obvious one, unless your invitations create their own envelopes (and I have to say that those are really cool). Make sure that your envelopes will fit all of the stuff you're going to put into them. It doesn't look pretty when they don't quite fit... and you don't want to have to go out and buy another 200 envelopes, do you? Another thing to consider is the traditional double envelope. The outside envelope is gummed and may or may not be lined; the inner is not gummed and is often lined. This doubles the number of envelopes you have to buy (and keep in mind that the outer one should be slightly larger; most places sell these as a set). At the same time, it's a nice touch, especially for a traditional wedding, and your older guests will be especially appreciative. In addition, you can have a calligrapher (or yourself, or a close friend) address the envelopes in a beautiful hand.
RSVP/response cards: A little less traditional; the stalwarts of etiquette will tell you that the only proper way to have your guests RSVP is by phone. Nowadays, it's much more common to include a card each family can send in to RSVP. There are two options: a smaller card with a matching envelope (don't forget postage and a prewritten address!), or a postcard. Postcards need to be at least 3 1/2" x 5" to send them via USPS -- use A2 size, rather than the A4 common for response cards with envelopes.
Reception card: A mini-invitation to the reception itself (since on the invitation it usually just says "reception to follow"). This lists the address of the reception if it's being held at a different location, the time, and possibly the formality of the event (although the formality should be suggested through the invitation style and wording).
Itineraries: A daughter of my mother's cousin (confused yet?) recently got married and sent an itinerary of all the wedding events with the invitation -- I thought it was an excellent idea, especially if you're doing multiple events or have a large number of out-of-town guests coming. It doesn't have to be fancy; just match them to your invitation and include them in the envelope.
Save-the-dates: Send this small notification of your wedding date 6-12 months before the day. You can make these any number of ways (magnets are popular, but you can just send a card). I'm thinking about doing a postcard (printed myself on preperforated 4-up cardstock!) which saves on envelope costs as well as postage. You can have a picture of the two of you, or a motif "previewing" your wedding, whatever you decide! It should include your names, the date, maybe your website if you wish, and the words "invitation (or formal invitation) to follow" because this isn't the actual invitation, just a heads-up.
Shower invitations: If you're the bride, don't worry about this one! But it's just something else that will need to be printed or bought. Match them to the theme of the shower, hosts, and keep it lighthearted. It's okay etiquette-wise to include a card noting where the bride is registered.
Rehearsal dinner invitations: (And other event invitations!) Not really necessary, especially if you invite people via word of mouth or with an insert in the invitation itself. But if you want to make them, be my guest! No pun intended ;) Anyway, match them to the theme of the rehearsal if there is one, and again, keep it a little less heavy and formal than the wedding invitations.
Extras: Maps to the ceremony/reception/rehearsal dinner location, notes that aren't included on the invitation or other enclosures, etc. Make sure your guests are well informed (is the rehearsal dinner across the city from the ceremony site?) and know what they're doing. This is true even for in-town guests!

At the wedding
Programs: A large piece of stationery or a booklet (often tied with a ribbon) with a schedule of events, an explanation of the traditions of the ceremony (and/or reception) -- including lyrics, song titles, and other tidbits that are important to you -- thank yous to the bridal party, parents, and sometimes guests, and often a "who's who" section for the party and parents. These should be given out at the appropriate time: before the ceremony begins if the program explains the ceremony, or between the ceremony and reception if it explains only the reception traditions. You can also do one for each of these and hand them out appropriately.
Escort cards: Small cards that direct the guests where to sit. You only need these if you have assigned tables; if not (like many buffet-style receptions), don't bother! These can be in small frames, as favor tags, or however your heart desires. If a couple is to be seated at the same table, you may only need one for both of them.
Table cards: If you have escort cards, you'll need table cards! These mark each table with a number so guests can find their way to the correct spot.
Placecards: If you have these, you may not need either escort or table cards, unless your caterer needs table numbers for waiters (be sure to ask what they require if you're having a seated and served dinner). They can be anything from simple tent cards to favor tags to small cards in fancy holders. Place them at each seat and have a trusted friend or two direct your guests to the right table.
Extras: A small note explaining the significance of a tradition or choice (for example, explaining the tradition of jordan almonds), a thank-you tag for your favors, an invitation to a brunch the following morning, or anything else that keeps your guests feeling informed and welcome are all lovely extras you may want to consider.

After the wedding
Thank you cards: A normal-sized card expressing your thanks to your guests for attending the wedding, and specific thank-yous for gifts. Write these as soon as you receive gifts if you get any before the wedding, and as soon as you can following the honeymoon for those received on or after the day. A guest traditionally can send a gift up to a year after the wedding, so that's your guideline, too. It's just a better idea to get them done ASAP so you won't be seen as rude and so each gift is fresh in your mind. Thank-you cards can match your wedding theme or have your new married monogram; some have the words "thank you" across the front, but those are seen as generally less formal and the most uptight of us about etiquette would consider them in bad taste. Still, it's up to you. It's the last piece of stationery you'll send them, so make it pretty.

One last word: Don't forget about the postage costs! Remember that many invitations are over the standard maximum weight for a letter and must be given extra postage. Response card envelopes should be stamped; save-the-dates need postage; and thank-you cards will too. Although the brides don't need to worry about shower and other invitation cards, some of you hosts out there will! Remember to include the cost of postage in with your budget -- a ton of invitations means a ton of stamps too.