Tips & Techniques: Wedding Stationery

I've been thinking lately about all the "paper stuff" I'll be creating for our wedding. (As a hardcore DIYer, you can bet I don't want to leave that to professional printers! Although I'm sure many of you out there are way too stressed to handle this stuff yourself.) I've been getting dazed and confused trying to keep everything straight... it's amazing how all this stuff adds up. So to help myself and anyone else getting frazzled, I've put together a list of all the possible stationery items you might need to have printed (and/or coordinated!).

Sent to your guests
Invitations: I know what you're thinking: That's obvious, Joan! Of course it's obvious. But what isn't obvious is all the questions you'll have to answer: A7, square, tea length, or custom? Hand-written calligraphy, thermography, engraving, or regular printing? Heavy cardstock, handmade paper, or vellum? Ribbons and other embellishments or plain? Pocket or other enclosure, tissue, or just stuck into the envelope? I'm sure I'm missing several questions, but I think you get my point!
Invitation envelopes: Another obvious one, unless your invitations create their own envelopes (and I have to say that those are really cool). Make sure that your envelopes will fit all of the stuff you're going to put into them. It doesn't look pretty when they don't quite fit... and you don't want to have to go out and buy another 200 envelopes, do you? Another thing to consider is the traditional double envelope. The outside envelope is gummed and may or may not be lined; the inner is not gummed and is often lined. This doubles the number of envelopes you have to buy (and keep in mind that the outer one should be slightly larger; most places sell these as a set). At the same time, it's a nice touch, especially for a traditional wedding, and your older guests will be especially appreciative. In addition, you can have a calligrapher (or yourself, or a close friend) address the envelopes in a beautiful hand.
RSVP/response cards: A little less traditional; the stalwarts of etiquette will tell you that the only proper way to have your guests RSVP is by phone. Nowadays, it's much more common to include a card each family can send in to RSVP. There are two options: a smaller card with a matching envelope (don't forget postage and a prewritten address!), or a postcard. Postcards need to be at least 3 1/2" x 5" to send them via USPS -- use A2 size, rather than the A4 common for response cards with envelopes.
Reception card: A mini-invitation to the reception itself (since on the invitation it usually just says "reception to follow"). This lists the address of the reception if it's being held at a different location, the time, and possibly the formality of the event (although the formality should be suggested through the invitation style and wording).
Itineraries: A daughter of my mother's cousin (confused yet?) recently got married and sent an itinerary of all the wedding events with the invitation -- I thought it was an excellent idea, especially if you're doing multiple events or have a large number of out-of-town guests coming. It doesn't have to be fancy; just match them to your invitation and include them in the envelope.
Save-the-dates: Send this small notification of your wedding date 6-12 months before the day. You can make these any number of ways (magnets are popular, but you can just send a card). I'm thinking about doing a postcard (printed myself on preperforated 4-up cardstock!) which saves on envelope costs as well as postage. You can have a picture of the two of you, or a motif "previewing" your wedding, whatever you decide! It should include your names, the date, maybe your website if you wish, and the words "invitation (or formal invitation) to follow" because this isn't the actual invitation, just a heads-up.
Shower invitations: If you're the bride, don't worry about this one! But it's just something else that will need to be printed or bought. Match them to the theme of the shower, hosts, and keep it lighthearted. It's okay etiquette-wise to include a card noting where the bride is registered.
Rehearsal dinner invitations: (And other event invitations!) Not really necessary, especially if you invite people via word of mouth or with an insert in the invitation itself. But if you want to make them, be my guest! No pun intended ;) Anyway, match them to the theme of the rehearsal if there is one, and again, keep it a little less heavy and formal than the wedding invitations.
Extras: Maps to the ceremony/reception/rehearsal dinner location, notes that aren't included on the invitation or other enclosures, etc. Make sure your guests are well informed (is the rehearsal dinner across the city from the ceremony site?) and know what they're doing. This is true even for in-town guests!

At the wedding
Programs: A large piece of stationery or a booklet (often tied with a ribbon) with a schedule of events, an explanation of the traditions of the ceremony (and/or reception) -- including lyrics, song titles, and other tidbits that are important to you -- thank yous to the bridal party, parents, and sometimes guests, and often a "who's who" section for the party and parents. These should be given out at the appropriate time: before the ceremony begins if the program explains the ceremony, or between the ceremony and reception if it explains only the reception traditions. You can also do one for each of these and hand them out appropriately.
Escort cards: Small cards that direct the guests where to sit. You only need these if you have assigned tables; if not (like many buffet-style receptions), don't bother! These can be in small frames, as favor tags, or however your heart desires. If a couple is to be seated at the same table, you may only need one for both of them.
Table cards: If you have escort cards, you'll need table cards! These mark each table with a number so guests can find their way to the correct spot.
Placecards: If you have these, you may not need either escort or table cards, unless your caterer needs table numbers for waiters (be sure to ask what they require if you're having a seated and served dinner). They can be anything from simple tent cards to favor tags to small cards in fancy holders. Place them at each seat and have a trusted friend or two direct your guests to the right table.
Extras: A small note explaining the significance of a tradition or choice (for example, explaining the tradition of jordan almonds), a thank-you tag for your favors, an invitation to a brunch the following morning, or anything else that keeps your guests feeling informed and welcome are all lovely extras you may want to consider.

After the wedding
Thank you cards: A normal-sized card expressing your thanks to your guests for attending the wedding, and specific thank-yous for gifts. Write these as soon as you receive gifts if you get any before the wedding, and as soon as you can following the honeymoon for those received on or after the day. A guest traditionally can send a gift up to a year after the wedding, so that's your guideline, too. It's just a better idea to get them done ASAP so you won't be seen as rude and so each gift is fresh in your mind. Thank-you cards can match your wedding theme or have your new married monogram; some have the words "thank you" across the front, but those are seen as generally less formal and the most uptight of us about etiquette would consider them in bad taste. Still, it's up to you. It's the last piece of stationery you'll send them, so make it pretty.

One last word: Don't forget about the postage costs! Remember that many invitations are over the standard maximum weight for a letter and must be given extra postage. Response card envelopes should be stamped; save-the-dates need postage; and thank-you cards will too. Although the brides don't need to worry about shower and other invitation cards, some of you hosts out there will! Remember to include the cost of postage in with your budget -- a ton of invitations means a ton of stamps too.