Apparently grad school takes just a little more time during the semester than I anticipated. Hopefully next semester will find me in better command of my time... but I'm back for the winter break with a lovely easy how-to to share. More updates to come, if I'm not too busy visiting more venues!
Centerpieces add that little decorated "touch" to every table in a reception. But most of the time your guests probably won't remember what was there -- what's a money-savvy bride to do? Spend as little as possible, of course!
Look out for good sales, thrift stores, and places you can buy "off" merchandise, in bulk, at lower prices. There are a number of stores that sell items that can be used very easily for centerpieces and other venue decoration. Check with your venue to see what is and isn't allowed; lit candles, confetti, and glitter are among the common banned items, and you don't want to get your heart set on something only to find it's disallowed!
These particular centerpieces are all variations on a theme, using glass vases as the base. For many of them, other pieces of pottery or colored glass works well too; if you want to, experiment by buying just one and playing around with items, colors, and shapes. You'll be pleasantly surprised at what you can do easily and for very little money.
Variation 1: Sweet Treats
Items needed:
*One large or several smaller glass vases per table
*Small wrapped candies such as Hershey's Kisses
Fill the glass vase(s) with the candy. If you can find candy in your wedding colors, this works particularly well. The best part? This can serve as favors and/or a substitute for the currently-popular "candy bar"! For an added pretty touch, layer a few different colors (or alternate two) like a parfait.
I told you these were easy!
Variation 2: Layered Beauties
Items needed:
*One large or several smaller glass vases per table
*Clear and colored glass "drops" (round, flat-bottomed glass pieces used in crafting) or other colored craft material like sand or glass pebbles
When I was younger, I used to get those craft kits that have colored sand that you layer in a bottle and save for decoration. These work on the same principle. Simply pour in the material you have in the order you like (possible combination: clear, one wedding color, clear, another wedding color, then repeat). You can vary the thickness of the layers too. Experiment until you find a combination that works for you.
Variation 3: Bridesmaids' Specials
I got this idea from a website, but for the life of me I can't remember which one. It's definitely a great option, though. This works best if you have a number of bridesmaids and not too many tables.
Items needed:
*Glass flower vases, one per table
*Bridesmaids' bouquets (after the ceremony, of course!)
Set up the vases on each of the tables you want decorated. After the ceremony, have your bridesmaids either put their whole bouquets in the vases, or break them up into smaller bunches for each table. If you want, you can have a bit of water in the vases to keep them fresher through the rest of the reception.
Variation 4: Hurricane Lamp -- Well, Sort Of
Items needed:
*One large glass vase per table
*Neutral or wedding-color sand
*Several tea lights or one larger candle, in a complementary or matching color
Pour the sand until it fills the vase to a nice height -- depending on the shape of the vase, 1/3 to 1/2 full or more will work. Firmly plant the tea lights or candle into the sand, making sure the flame will be protected by the vase. Done correctly, this should work in a similar manner to a hurricane lamp, but won't be as pricey.
I'm sure there are tons of other variations: use your imagination! Look for later updates on other ridiculously easy centerpieces using other kinds of bases. The possibilities are endless!
And as always, good luck. I'll be scouting out more venue possibilities, and my DF and I want to choose one by the end of the break (end of December). Should be fun :)
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Tips & Techniques: Going Green
"Going green" is quickly becoming a big part of modern-day weddings. If you're a bride who is passionate about the environment, it may be important for you to throw a great wedding that's also sustainable and earth-friendly. Although this route may sound great, it can sometimes be a bit tougher than you might anticipate to make your ceremony and reception truly low-impact. Gone are the days of recycled paper; today's earth-conscious mindset is much more about product life-cycles and carbon footprints.
If it all seems a bit overwhelming, don't fret! Here a few dos and don'ts to guide you on your path to a great green event.
DON'T buy products based solely on an "environmentally friendly" label. Unlike many claims (like "low fat"), these are not yet regulated and don't have to be proven before being placed on a product. And many companies are cashing in on the fad, hoping to lure in new customers or get old ones to pay a premium for so-called "green" merchandise.
DO your homework. If you're serious about buying only good-to-the-environment products for your wedding, you need to know the companies that make them as well as the process they go through, before and after the "finished" product. This may lead you to change your plans or even cancel some parts. But in order to truly make a difference with your wedding, you must be willing to spend the time and effort and to sacrifice or change your ideal plan. A simple Google search can give you a few good starting points; from there, look carefully at the company (do they really care about environmental issues or are they just another manufacturer? Your best bet for true green is to go with companies that actually try to reduce their impact as well as yours). Then, look at the process each product goes through in order to be created -- is it costly in terms of energy? Is it shipped across multiple countries, burning up oil in the process? Does it use relatively scarce resources? Does it stay forever in landfills or leach out dangerous chemicals? Your reaction to these possibilities, as well as the level of cost to the environment, can help you determine how to proceed.
DON'T go overboard and obsess over every detail. Concentrate on a few areas in which you can make a larger impact, rather than making yourself crazy trying to do everything. If you can do it all, more power to you. But most brides will not be able to, so don't stress about it too much.
DO try to reduce any excess in your wedding. Having a dinner? Make it plated, rather than buffet; you'll waste less food. Creating a very informal event? Think about reducing the amount of paper you use by inviting people in a nontraditional way (a saver for etiquette: maybe you could send your grandmother a real, paper invitation. She'll appreciate it, and you can be nontraditional for guests your age and still save a lot of paper). Worried about the effect of shipping fresh flowers? Reduce your flower consumption by creating non-floral centerpieces and opting to carry only a few local, in-season blooms. In the long run, many of these options will save you a considerable amount of money and reduce your impact on the environment -- a double bonus!
DON'T force your guests to "convert" to your worldview just to participate in (or watch) your wedding. Yes, you want to save the world; good for you. But you can't expect everyone to share your set of beliefs, and in the end you'll only create resentment. To many, it's even questionable to donate to a charity in lieu of favors for that reason. Of course, wanting to make such a donation is up to you and your DF, and letting your guests know is also your decision. Just think about your reasons for doing anything, and make sure your guests are comfortable rather than squirming in their seats.
DO try to smoothly weave in the environmentally-friendly aspects of your wedding with the more traditional stuff. Perhaps the best "green" victory you could have is your guests not having a clue, just enjoying your awesome party! If they ask, of course tell them the truth... they'll probably be impressed you managed to pull off something so fun while being highly conscious of the environmental impact. A hint or two about its importance could work well for you (a pledge in your vows to each other, for example, or asking your guests to walk or carpool is a way to send a not-too-harsh message about something that's meaningful to you).
DON'T expect the impossible. If you really want a huge blowout reception, you pretty much have to expect that it will have a larger effect than a small, informal one. If you expect a lot of out-of-town guests, you have to accept that larger carbon footprint that comes from cross-country airplane or car trips. This process is really a give-and-take one, and you can't really have your cake and eat it too.
DO focus on what is possible. It's definitely doable to have a "green" wedding; it just takes some effort on your part to ensure that it's as low-impact as you hope for. Concentrate on the things you can do, what will make the most difference, and what you can compromise on to ensure the best outcome.
If it all seems a bit overwhelming, don't fret! Here a few dos and don'ts to guide you on your path to a great green event.
DON'T buy products based solely on an "environmentally friendly" label. Unlike many claims (like "low fat"), these are not yet regulated and don't have to be proven before being placed on a product. And many companies are cashing in on the fad, hoping to lure in new customers or get old ones to pay a premium for so-called "green" merchandise.
DO your homework. If you're serious about buying only good-to-the-environment products for your wedding, you need to know the companies that make them as well as the process they go through, before and after the "finished" product. This may lead you to change your plans or even cancel some parts. But in order to truly make a difference with your wedding, you must be willing to spend the time and effort and to sacrifice or change your ideal plan. A simple Google search can give you a few good starting points; from there, look carefully at the company (do they really care about environmental issues or are they just another manufacturer? Your best bet for true green is to go with companies that actually try to reduce their impact as well as yours). Then, look at the process each product goes through in order to be created -- is it costly in terms of energy? Is it shipped across multiple countries, burning up oil in the process? Does it use relatively scarce resources? Does it stay forever in landfills or leach out dangerous chemicals? Your reaction to these possibilities, as well as the level of cost to the environment, can help you determine how to proceed.
DON'T go overboard and obsess over every detail. Concentrate on a few areas in which you can make a larger impact, rather than making yourself crazy trying to do everything. If you can do it all, more power to you. But most brides will not be able to, so don't stress about it too much.
DO try to reduce any excess in your wedding. Having a dinner? Make it plated, rather than buffet; you'll waste less food. Creating a very informal event? Think about reducing the amount of paper you use by inviting people in a nontraditional way (a saver for etiquette: maybe you could send your grandmother a real, paper invitation. She'll appreciate it, and you can be nontraditional for guests your age and still save a lot of paper). Worried about the effect of shipping fresh flowers? Reduce your flower consumption by creating non-floral centerpieces and opting to carry only a few local, in-season blooms. In the long run, many of these options will save you a considerable amount of money and reduce your impact on the environment -- a double bonus!
DON'T force your guests to "convert" to your worldview just to participate in (or watch) your wedding. Yes, you want to save the world; good for you. But you can't expect everyone to share your set of beliefs, and in the end you'll only create resentment. To many, it's even questionable to donate to a charity in lieu of favors for that reason. Of course, wanting to make such a donation is up to you and your DF, and letting your guests know is also your decision. Just think about your reasons for doing anything, and make sure your guests are comfortable rather than squirming in their seats.
DO try to smoothly weave in the environmentally-friendly aspects of your wedding with the more traditional stuff. Perhaps the best "green" victory you could have is your guests not having a clue, just enjoying your awesome party! If they ask, of course tell them the truth... they'll probably be impressed you managed to pull off something so fun while being highly conscious of the environmental impact. A hint or two about its importance could work well for you (a pledge in your vows to each other, for example, or asking your guests to walk or carpool is a way to send a not-too-harsh message about something that's meaningful to you).
DON'T expect the impossible. If you really want a huge blowout reception, you pretty much have to expect that it will have a larger effect than a small, informal one. If you expect a lot of out-of-town guests, you have to accept that larger carbon footprint that comes from cross-country airplane or car trips. This process is really a give-and-take one, and you can't really have your cake and eat it too.
DO focus on what is possible. It's definitely doable to have a "green" wedding; it just takes some effort on your part to ensure that it's as low-impact as you hope for. Concentrate on the things you can do, what will make the most difference, and what you can compromise on to ensure the best outcome.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Long-Distance Relationships
One thing that's a little frightening about the changes happening in my life right now is the idea of having to maintain a long-distance relationship with my fiancé. So many relationships crumble in the face of that kind of stress; many people aren't ready to face the particular problems that come with such separation. When I thought we'd be in a LDR before -- going off to grad school somewhere, while he finds a job -- I really was terrified that we wouldn't make it.
Of course, being engaged really does change things. There's a certain kind of emotional security that comes with it. After all, it's a promise in itself, a kind of pre-committment to spend the rest of your life with someone else. It lessens the fear that another person will come along, or they'll be other distractions. You feel good knowing that they really do want to be with you, that it's not just convenient or some kind of game. So we have that -- and really, that's a wonderful feeling.
Still, there are a few things we need to make sure of once I'm several states away. For one thing, I'm not exactly the best of communicators. To me, there's less of a need to talk to my family and friends every single day... but he really loves just talking to me, hearing my voice, and generally reconnecting to me when we're apart. I have to respect that, and in reality it helps me to maintain a great relationship with him as well. Our solution is to set aside time every night -- say at 8:00 p.m. -- when one of us will call, IM, or email the other (he prefers phone calls). It keeps us at a good place, I think, and we don't even have to talk that long. Just saying "hi, how was your day" is a great way to keep an emotional connection.
Trust is also important in this kind of relationship. We've worked hard to build and maintain that kind of trust, and for some people this aspect can be the most difficult of all. In a LDR, it's probably the most critical part of the relationship. You really have to believe that the other person is doing the right thing, all of the time, and that they're being honest and responsible. Without it, many relationships wither and die, or go through very tough times. This ties in to communication, too; great communication can build trust.
Along with those two is the ever-elusive "respect" for the other person in the relationship. It's one of the hardest things to learn, really -- your SO is a different person, with different needs, and the relationship is a dynamic one. Things change, and you not only have to respect that person but the separate "being" that is the relationship. Compromise is key, and while it's easy to say that, it's not always easy to actually do it. Realizing that the person you love has needs that are different from yours is one of the hardest, yet most important, things you can do.
If you can afford it, getting some kind of counseling (premarital or couple's) is actually a great way to reinforce an already great relationship or fix one that has a few problems that need work. Barring that, talking to someone you can trust -- which works best if it's an objective, yet compassionate, third party -- is a way to try to find useful solutions to issues and problems you might be having.
In any case, I'm hoping for the best of luck with my own LDR as I get ready to head off to graduate school. I think it's a great test for us before we actually get married... in a way I think by exposing any weak spots we might have, it enables us to take care of them right away, rather than letting them fester without realizing it. It also lets us try out living on our own for awhile, cooking for ourselves, and generally taking care of our own business because we have to. That's especially important for me, because I can sometimes be a little too dependent on other people. But it's good for him too: He can learn how to cook!
Of course, being engaged really does change things. There's a certain kind of emotional security that comes with it. After all, it's a promise in itself, a kind of pre-committment to spend the rest of your life with someone else. It lessens the fear that another person will come along, or they'll be other distractions. You feel good knowing that they really do want to be with you, that it's not just convenient or some kind of game. So we have that -- and really, that's a wonderful feeling.
Still, there are a few things we need to make sure of once I'm several states away. For one thing, I'm not exactly the best of communicators. To me, there's less of a need to talk to my family and friends every single day... but he really loves just talking to me, hearing my voice, and generally reconnecting to me when we're apart. I have to respect that, and in reality it helps me to maintain a great relationship with him as well. Our solution is to set aside time every night -- say at 8:00 p.m. -- when one of us will call, IM, or email the other (he prefers phone calls). It keeps us at a good place, I think, and we don't even have to talk that long. Just saying "hi, how was your day" is a great way to keep an emotional connection.
Trust is also important in this kind of relationship. We've worked hard to build and maintain that kind of trust, and for some people this aspect can be the most difficult of all. In a LDR, it's probably the most critical part of the relationship. You really have to believe that the other person is doing the right thing, all of the time, and that they're being honest and responsible. Without it, many relationships wither and die, or go through very tough times. This ties in to communication, too; great communication can build trust.
Along with those two is the ever-elusive "respect" for the other person in the relationship. It's one of the hardest things to learn, really -- your SO is a different person, with different needs, and the relationship is a dynamic one. Things change, and you not only have to respect that person but the separate "being" that is the relationship. Compromise is key, and while it's easy to say that, it's not always easy to actually do it. Realizing that the person you love has needs that are different from yours is one of the hardest, yet most important, things you can do.
If you can afford it, getting some kind of counseling (premarital or couple's) is actually a great way to reinforce an already great relationship or fix one that has a few problems that need work. Barring that, talking to someone you can trust -- which works best if it's an objective, yet compassionate, third party -- is a way to try to find useful solutions to issues and problems you might be having.
In any case, I'm hoping for the best of luck with my own LDR as I get ready to head off to graduate school. I think it's a great test for us before we actually get married... in a way I think by exposing any weak spots we might have, it enables us to take care of them right away, rather than letting them fester without realizing it. It also lets us try out living on our own for awhile, cooking for ourselves, and generally taking care of our own business because we have to. That's especially important for me, because I can sometimes be a little too dependent on other people. But it's good for him too: He can learn how to cook!
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Budget: Finding the Money, Part II -- The Big Stuff
Welcome to the second part of the series "Finding the Money," discussing how to find the funds for your wedding (or other large purchase) without needing a major windfall. (See the first part here: Part I -- The Small Stuff.)This part will focus on some of the bigger moves you can make to find the money you already have available. Remember, I'm not an accountant or any kind of financial adviser; these are things for you to think about, but always consult a financial planner or adviser if you're unsure before making any drastic changes to your assets. They can save you lots of headaches and heartaches, not to mention they can tell you more ways to tighten up your finances.
I've broken it down into two ways to do these Big Moves. One deals with the way you live; the other, with the way you do your finances. It's up to you which one you pick, but make sure you're ready for the change. Like I said, these are Big Moves, and if you're doing them right, you will have to change yourself as drastically as you do those aspects of your life.
Lifestyle Changes
These might be the hardest of all to consider, much less actually do. Considering how drastic many of these are, before you actually decide to do them, rethink what you want to do for your wedding: are you doing this solely to pay for all the frivolous extras, or are you using it as a catalyst to change your life? The second is preferable, of course, but it's worth it to carefully consider what you're doing.
*Consolidate your households. If you're fine with living together before you get married, consider doing so in order to get rid of all the "extra" payments you may be making. When you get right down to it, you don't need two refrigerators, stoves, TVs, or toasters, and you especially don't need double the "base" cost of keeping those items up and running. Not to mention that by moving in together, you'll cut out the extra rent or house payments, possibly cut down on gas (not having to go back and forth between them, or consolidating errands or work commutes), and maybe make a small dent in the grocery bill. This can be absolutely unacceptable to some people of certain religions, which is certainly fine. But if you're willing to go for it, you may be able to save a significant amount of money. (Alternatively, if you're young, you could both live with your respective parents if they're okay with the idea. If you pay them a certain amount of rent, they can cut their costs as well -- everybody wins!)
*Downgrade your house. Living in a large, expensive house can really take a toll on your finances. In some cases, it can even lead to living beyond your means; thus a part of the housing crisis evident in the US today. If you're able, selling your house and choosing to move into a smaller, more affordable home is a good way to free up some of your assets, rather than putting all your money towards the upkeep of your house. All this "extra," even if you could afford it before, can go towards your next large purchase... or even towards savings. This might be a good thing to do, even if you're not looking to pay for your wedding.
*Eat like you're in grad school. I'll be experiencing this one really soon! Some of you probably still vividly remember the days when you were eating practically nothing but ramen and the occasional bowl of mac 'n' cheese. That's not to say that you should be that frugal; I don't think I could be healthy on that kind of diet. Instead, cut back on the foods that consistently cost you more money; try vegetarian foods (meats are expensive), stop eating prepared frozen meals, quit eating out, and find recipes that consistently save you money instead. Your diet can cost you a surprising amount of money; take it back by choosing less expensive foods.
*Quit shopping. I know a lot of women love to shop as a hobby. If you want to save money, STOP IT. I know, it's not easy for a lot of you... and coming from someone who hates to shop, it might sound a little crazy. But if you think about it, shopping for the sake of shopping is costly -- you're already using gas, and more than likely you'll find something you want to buy. Take away that opportunity, and you'll spend less money. It may be a little harder if you're used to shopping online, but break it like any bad habit: Find a way to replace it. Love perusing eBay or Amazon? Switch to coupon-clipping sites or finance advise pages. (They'll both save rather than cost you money.) Yes, you can still buy things that you need. But evaluate your criteria for "need." Is it really just "want," only in a different form? Then you don't need it. Sure that old sofa is raggedy. But you don't need a new one. Skip it, and save that $1,000 instead.
*Find alternative entertainment. Most people I know spend quite a bit of their monthly income on personal entertainment, things like movies, restaurants, games, and cable TV. None of these are necessary, and it's definitely possible to find alternatives that are just as fun but not nearly as costly. Cutting out 90% of your entertainment budget will hurt in the short run, but save you quite a bit in the long run. Check out your local newsletter or website -- most towns and cities have tons of free stuff to do, especially on the weekends and during the summer. Play outside. Watch broadcast TV instead of cable. Make some crafts (you guys are good at that, right?). Find new ways of having fun with your significant other. You'll probably be happier, and you'll have more money to boot.
*Sell your extras. Have two cars? Sell one and carpool to work. Extra knick-knacks? eBay 'em away. A coffee table you haven't used in 5 years? Put it on Craigslist to find a willing buyer. Or, alternatively, host a big yard sale (or join your neighborhood sale) and sell anything you don't need any more. This is a great thing to do, too, if you're considering consolidating or downsizing households; by getting rid of a bunch of old stuff, you'll be able to see more clearly what you do and don't need. (Donate anything that doesn't sell to your local charities. It's a good thing to do, and you can get a tax break for it.)
Financial Changes
I'm not an expert by any means on finances. Please take the time to look up information relevant to your situation, either by browsing the Internet (see a couple sites I found below) or by grilling your financial adviser.
Mind Your Finances
CNN's Money 101
Forbes Personal Finance (a bit busy but worth checking out)
*Taking out a loan. This is probably something you should do only as a last resort. Personal loans are pretty risky unless you're absolutely sure you'll be able to pay them back. That said, they can be a better option than putting everything on a credit card, which usually has high fees and interest rates, if you need a bit of an "extension" on your finances between paychecks. Just pay them back as soon as possible, and make sure you can pay extra each month to reduce the principal. I still wouldn't go for this option if it can be avoided. If you do this, go for a low interest rate, and only borrow what you need. Any little bit extra will balloon quickly into "a lot" extra.
*Ask your financial adviser about good investments. If your assets include a checking account, a savings account, and little else, now is a good time to talk to a financial adviser about other investments you can make. There are many possible ways to invest, some more risky and higher-yielding, and others less risky and with lower yields. Decide which ones are right for you, with the help of a real finances person, in order to maximize your earnings. I won't put any specific suggestions here because I'm not really the right person for it; do your own research, though, because you'll probably find something right for you.
*Look at a higher-interest account such as those from ING, which offers both checking and savings accounts at a higher interest rates than "traditional" accounts. There is one catch, however: these accounts are not FDIC insured, which means in the event of a crash that leaves the company out of business, you have little resource to get your cash back. Keep some money in a traditional, FDIC insured bank, but it might be worth it to keep "extra" money in an ING account, earning (sometimes) more than double the normal interest rate.
*Consolidate the loans you already have especially if those loans are student loans. This is easier if you took out several loans from the same company, but it can be done even if you have several different ones through different lenders. Most lenders will offer a lower interest rate on consolidated loans, thus saving you money; if you have extra during a month, you can pay towards the combined principal. Consolidating loans will usually save quite a bit over the life of the loans, but read over the terms carefully, and consult your financial adviser about your choices. You don't want to end up with a consolidated loan that's more costly than the originals.
*Cut up your credit cards or at least all but one of them, keeping one only for emergencies. Pay off the balance as soon as possible if you're carrying a lot of debt. The high interest rates and late fees on credit cards make them poor options for "lending" money to yourself. Credit card debt is one of the leading ways Americans dig a debt hole for themselves; you don't want to be another one owing more than $4,000 on a credit card. That's painful -- and costly too.
*Whatever you do, DON'T take it from your retirement accounts. Not only does this cost the future you the amount you're taking out, it costs you the interest you could have earned as well, not to mention the taxes and fees leveraged in some cases on the money if you take it out early. Taking money from your retirement accounts early should only be done in cases of extreme need -- an unexpectedly sky-high medical condition not covered by insurance, or something equally drastic.
Don't go into serious debt to fund your wedding. A wedding is really not that necessary. If you're thinking about doing so, you need to seriously reevaluate -- scale back the wedding, postpone it, do it at the courthouse, anything but going into lots of debt. That's no way to start your life together. Start it instead on a positive, solid financial footing. You'll both be thankful, and you may even learn how to live in a better way in the process.
I've broken it down into two ways to do these Big Moves. One deals with the way you live; the other, with the way you do your finances. It's up to you which one you pick, but make sure you're ready for the change. Like I said, these are Big Moves, and if you're doing them right, you will have to change yourself as drastically as you do those aspects of your life.
Lifestyle Changes
These might be the hardest of all to consider, much less actually do. Considering how drastic many of these are, before you actually decide to do them, rethink what you want to do for your wedding: are you doing this solely to pay for all the frivolous extras, or are you using it as a catalyst to change your life? The second is preferable, of course, but it's worth it to carefully consider what you're doing.
*Consolidate your households. If you're fine with living together before you get married, consider doing so in order to get rid of all the "extra" payments you may be making. When you get right down to it, you don't need two refrigerators, stoves, TVs, or toasters, and you especially don't need double the "base" cost of keeping those items up and running. Not to mention that by moving in together, you'll cut out the extra rent or house payments, possibly cut down on gas (not having to go back and forth between them, or consolidating errands or work commutes), and maybe make a small dent in the grocery bill. This can be absolutely unacceptable to some people of certain religions, which is certainly fine. But if you're willing to go for it, you may be able to save a significant amount of money. (Alternatively, if you're young, you could both live with your respective parents if they're okay with the idea. If you pay them a certain amount of rent, they can cut their costs as well -- everybody wins!)
*Downgrade your house. Living in a large, expensive house can really take a toll on your finances. In some cases, it can even lead to living beyond your means; thus a part of the housing crisis evident in the US today. If you're able, selling your house and choosing to move into a smaller, more affordable home is a good way to free up some of your assets, rather than putting all your money towards the upkeep of your house. All this "extra," even if you could afford it before, can go towards your next large purchase... or even towards savings. This might be a good thing to do, even if you're not looking to pay for your wedding.
*Eat like you're in grad school. I'll be experiencing this one really soon! Some of you probably still vividly remember the days when you were eating practically nothing but ramen and the occasional bowl of mac 'n' cheese. That's not to say that you should be that frugal; I don't think I could be healthy on that kind of diet. Instead, cut back on the foods that consistently cost you more money; try vegetarian foods (meats are expensive), stop eating prepared frozen meals, quit eating out, and find recipes that consistently save you money instead. Your diet can cost you a surprising amount of money; take it back by choosing less expensive foods.
*Quit shopping. I know a lot of women love to shop as a hobby. If you want to save money, STOP IT. I know, it's not easy for a lot of you... and coming from someone who hates to shop, it might sound a little crazy. But if you think about it, shopping for the sake of shopping is costly -- you're already using gas, and more than likely you'll find something you want to buy. Take away that opportunity, and you'll spend less money. It may be a little harder if you're used to shopping online, but break it like any bad habit: Find a way to replace it. Love perusing eBay or Amazon? Switch to coupon-clipping sites or finance advise pages. (They'll both save rather than cost you money.) Yes, you can still buy things that you need. But evaluate your criteria for "need." Is it really just "want," only in a different form? Then you don't need it. Sure that old sofa is raggedy. But you don't need a new one. Skip it, and save that $1,000 instead.
*Find alternative entertainment. Most people I know spend quite a bit of their monthly income on personal entertainment, things like movies, restaurants, games, and cable TV. None of these are necessary, and it's definitely possible to find alternatives that are just as fun but not nearly as costly. Cutting out 90% of your entertainment budget will hurt in the short run, but save you quite a bit in the long run. Check out your local newsletter or website -- most towns and cities have tons of free stuff to do, especially on the weekends and during the summer. Play outside. Watch broadcast TV instead of cable. Make some crafts (you guys are good at that, right?). Find new ways of having fun with your significant other. You'll probably be happier, and you'll have more money to boot.
*Sell your extras. Have two cars? Sell one and carpool to work. Extra knick-knacks? eBay 'em away. A coffee table you haven't used in 5 years? Put it on Craigslist to find a willing buyer. Or, alternatively, host a big yard sale (or join your neighborhood sale) and sell anything you don't need any more. This is a great thing to do, too, if you're considering consolidating or downsizing households; by getting rid of a bunch of old stuff, you'll be able to see more clearly what you do and don't need. (Donate anything that doesn't sell to your local charities. It's a good thing to do, and you can get a tax break for it.)
Financial Changes
I'm not an expert by any means on finances. Please take the time to look up information relevant to your situation, either by browsing the Internet (see a couple sites I found below) or by grilling your financial adviser.
Mind Your Finances
CNN's Money 101
Forbes Personal Finance (a bit busy but worth checking out)
*Taking out a loan. This is probably something you should do only as a last resort. Personal loans are pretty risky unless you're absolutely sure you'll be able to pay them back. That said, they can be a better option than putting everything on a credit card, which usually has high fees and interest rates, if you need a bit of an "extension" on your finances between paychecks. Just pay them back as soon as possible, and make sure you can pay extra each month to reduce the principal. I still wouldn't go for this option if it can be avoided. If you do this, go for a low interest rate, and only borrow what you need. Any little bit extra will balloon quickly into "a lot" extra.
*Ask your financial adviser about good investments. If your assets include a checking account, a savings account, and little else, now is a good time to talk to a financial adviser about other investments you can make. There are many possible ways to invest, some more risky and higher-yielding, and others less risky and with lower yields. Decide which ones are right for you, with the help of a real finances person, in order to maximize your earnings. I won't put any specific suggestions here because I'm not really the right person for it; do your own research, though, because you'll probably find something right for you.
*Look at a higher-interest account such as those from ING, which offers both checking and savings accounts at a higher interest rates than "traditional" accounts. There is one catch, however: these accounts are not FDIC insured, which means in the event of a crash that leaves the company out of business, you have little resource to get your cash back. Keep some money in a traditional, FDIC insured bank, but it might be worth it to keep "extra" money in an ING account, earning (sometimes) more than double the normal interest rate.
*Consolidate the loans you already have especially if those loans are student loans. This is easier if you took out several loans from the same company, but it can be done even if you have several different ones through different lenders. Most lenders will offer a lower interest rate on consolidated loans, thus saving you money; if you have extra during a month, you can pay towards the combined principal. Consolidating loans will usually save quite a bit over the life of the loans, but read over the terms carefully, and consult your financial adviser about your choices. You don't want to end up with a consolidated loan that's more costly than the originals.
*Cut up your credit cards or at least all but one of them, keeping one only for emergencies. Pay off the balance as soon as possible if you're carrying a lot of debt. The high interest rates and late fees on credit cards make them poor options for "lending" money to yourself. Credit card debt is one of the leading ways Americans dig a debt hole for themselves; you don't want to be another one owing more than $4,000 on a credit card. That's painful -- and costly too.
*Whatever you do, DON'T take it from your retirement accounts. Not only does this cost the future you the amount you're taking out, it costs you the interest you could have earned as well, not to mention the taxes and fees leveraged in some cases on the money if you take it out early. Taking money from your retirement accounts early should only be done in cases of extreme need -- an unexpectedly sky-high medical condition not covered by insurance, or something equally drastic.
Don't go into serious debt to fund your wedding. A wedding is really not that necessary. If you're thinking about doing so, you need to seriously reevaluate -- scale back the wedding, postpone it, do it at the courthouse, anything but going into lots of debt. That's no way to start your life together. Start it instead on a positive, solid financial footing. You'll both be thankful, and you may even learn how to live in a better way in the process.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Budget: Finding the Money, Part I -- The Small Stuff
Welcome to a two-part series all about helping you find the money for your wedding in your everyday life. So many of us are worried about being able to afford the costs of our dream wedding; after all, the average wedding costs nearly $28,000 (according to The Knot), and few of us have that kind of cash just lying around. Today we'll be focusing on the small, daily things you can do to start saving the money for your wedding. Just remember: it's not about how much you spend or how extravagant you make your reception. It's all about the love between you and your SO... big wedding or not.
There are simple steps you can take to make the huge task of money-managing more, well, manageable.
First, make a budget
If you already have one for everyday life, great! You're a huge part of the way there; most Americans really don't know how much they're spending on a day-to-day or monthly basis, even for things like food and clothing. Make a budget that accurately reflects what you're currently spending on these items, plus rent/utilities or house payments, car payments, phone bills, etc. and a realistic approximation of how much you spend on "luxury" items. Base it on a week, two weeks, or a month, rather than a year, as this will allow you to tackle your spending more easily.
The Mint has personal budget software and a service that synchronizes all your bank accounts for you. It's a sign-up service, but free (probably because the banks that work with them pay a fee).
Budget Tracker is less pretty but just as free, allowing a wide range of services and applications for budgeting, paying bills, etc. This one is also sign-up-based.
Now, really look at it
Take a hard look at your spending. Are you paying more than you should by going over your minutes on your cell phone, or going on several shopping sprees a month? Are you buying too much food? What about your luxuries?
The point of making a budget in the first place is to force yourself to face the reality of what you spend. By scrutinizing where your money is going, you'll be better able to figure out where you can cut back in order to save for your wedding (or for any large purchase later in life).
Then find ways to cut back
This doesn't have to be complicated. You don't necessarily have to invest your money in order to afford a wedding. Since we're focusing on the "small stuff" today, we'll look at habits that can be scaled back in order to save.
*Do your own "round up" program. You know those bank accounts that round up what you spend to the next $0.50 or $1, and put the difference in your savings? You don't necessarily need to sign up for a program like that in order to reap those kinds of benefits. Since you have a good budget now, try this: Portion a realistic amount to spend per week (or month) on something that tends to be the same week-to-week (or month-to-month) -- say, grocery bills. Make a mental note, or if you're prone to overspending, take only that amount of cash with you when you go shopping. If you spend less than that, put the difference into a savings account. Even a few dollars a week can add up pretty quickly. If you tend to spend more than that on a frequent basis, you probably haven't budgeted it right. Fix it, then try again.
Or sign up for rounding programs that match your own contribution, like the one at Bank of America.
*Cut coupons. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's boring and seems silly, but it's surprising how much this can really add up. If you use Internet coupons, make sure your local stores are taking them in order to avoid a headache when checking out. Pair this with the previous tip, and you can really start to see the difference!
*Learn to cook well. Not only is cooking fun, but it can be a cost-effective way of entertaining yourselves and others. If you're in the habit of going to a nice restaurant every Saturday night, that can really take a bite out of your potential savings. Scale back this activity by making it a "night in." Find an intriguing recipe (not too complicated if you're just starting the gourmet stuff) in a cookbook or on the Internet (I really like AllRecipes.com -- look for ones with a high star rating). Set some mood lighting if you want an "experience." This is nearly always less expensive than going to a restaurant, and if you cook with your fiancé(e), it can be a more meaningful weekly date.
*Stay in for movie night. Like cooking your own gourmet meal, this can still be special without having to spend so much money. I really do understand that going to the movies is an "experience" that can't be duplicated, but instead of doing that every week, cut down to once a month and stay in for movie night the rest of the time. Rent a movie from a local video rental store (I have a Video Warehouse near me that's a "membership" based store, but rents at rock-bottom prices) or from a service like Netflix. (Alternatively, watch movies via the Internet at a site like hulu.com, which offers commercial movies and TV shows.) You can make this a fun date, too, by popping your own popcorn or making fresh cookies, turning off the lights and snuggling close together.
*Play online instead of on a console. If you, like my fiancé, are an avid gamer, you know that buying all those new games can add up really quickly. Why not play free online games instead? There are many interesting ones -- even high-quality ones, too, that are worth playing. Unlike some MMORPGs, they aren't all fee-based. Check out Liberated Games (a clean, crisp site listing a bunch of available games) or Net-Games (a busier site chock-full of links to smaller games) for some insights.
*Cut out the latte. You knew this one was coming, didn't you? With the economy in a bit of a confusion, Starbucks is closing a number of its stores... no doubt due to people cutting back on their daily coffees in order to save money. Lattes are the classic "luxury" items that most people drop as soon as they need to cut back on their spending. Here I'm using it not as a specific item, but as a symbol: What is your "latte" that you're spending an money for, on a daily or weekly basis? Turn your latte into homemade coffee -- find ways to substitute those luxuries for something similar, cheaper, yet still satisfactory. You can do it! That's what DIY is for, after all.
Find more ways to live better and more frugally at The Simple Dollar, a wonderful blog by a regular guy who has figured out how to live well without spending a lot. He also has great advice about how to avoid making mistakes and what to do if you've made a big one. It's worth checking out even if you think you're doing well financially.
A note to my readers: I am not paid for nor am I advertising these links. Most of these are just for your benefit: I gather them while browsing the Web if I think they might be useful to you. If you find that they are not as I've described, or have any other useful knowledge, please leave me a comment.
There are simple steps you can take to make the huge task of money-managing more, well, manageable.
First, make a budget
If you already have one for everyday life, great! You're a huge part of the way there; most Americans really don't know how much they're spending on a day-to-day or monthly basis, even for things like food and clothing. Make a budget that accurately reflects what you're currently spending on these items, plus rent/utilities or house payments, car payments, phone bills, etc. and a realistic approximation of how much you spend on "luxury" items. Base it on a week, two weeks, or a month, rather than a year, as this will allow you to tackle your spending more easily.
The Mint has personal budget software and a service that synchronizes all your bank accounts for you. It's a sign-up service, but free (probably because the banks that work with them pay a fee).
Budget Tracker is less pretty but just as free, allowing a wide range of services and applications for budgeting, paying bills, etc. This one is also sign-up-based.
Now, really look at it
Take a hard look at your spending. Are you paying more than you should by going over your minutes on your cell phone, or going on several shopping sprees a month? Are you buying too much food? What about your luxuries?
The point of making a budget in the first place is to force yourself to face the reality of what you spend. By scrutinizing where your money is going, you'll be better able to figure out where you can cut back in order to save for your wedding (or for any large purchase later in life).
Then find ways to cut back
This doesn't have to be complicated. You don't necessarily have to invest your money in order to afford a wedding. Since we're focusing on the "small stuff" today, we'll look at habits that can be scaled back in order to save.
*Do your own "round up" program. You know those bank accounts that round up what you spend to the next $0.50 or $1, and put the difference in your savings? You don't necessarily need to sign up for a program like that in order to reap those kinds of benefits. Since you have a good budget now, try this: Portion a realistic amount to spend per week (or month) on something that tends to be the same week-to-week (or month-to-month) -- say, grocery bills. Make a mental note, or if you're prone to overspending, take only that amount of cash with you when you go shopping. If you spend less than that, put the difference into a savings account. Even a few dollars a week can add up pretty quickly. If you tend to spend more than that on a frequent basis, you probably haven't budgeted it right. Fix it, then try again.
Or sign up for rounding programs that match your own contribution, like the one at Bank of America.
*Cut coupons. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's boring and seems silly, but it's surprising how much this can really add up. If you use Internet coupons, make sure your local stores are taking them in order to avoid a headache when checking out. Pair this with the previous tip, and you can really start to see the difference!
*Learn to cook well. Not only is cooking fun, but it can be a cost-effective way of entertaining yourselves and others. If you're in the habit of going to a nice restaurant every Saturday night, that can really take a bite out of your potential savings. Scale back this activity by making it a "night in." Find an intriguing recipe (not too complicated if you're just starting the gourmet stuff) in a cookbook or on the Internet (I really like AllRecipes.com -- look for ones with a high star rating). Set some mood lighting if you want an "experience." This is nearly always less expensive than going to a restaurant, and if you cook with your fiancé(e), it can be a more meaningful weekly date.
*Stay in for movie night. Like cooking your own gourmet meal, this can still be special without having to spend so much money. I really do understand that going to the movies is an "experience" that can't be duplicated, but instead of doing that every week, cut down to once a month and stay in for movie night the rest of the time. Rent a movie from a local video rental store (I have a Video Warehouse near me that's a "membership" based store, but rents at rock-bottom prices) or from a service like Netflix. (Alternatively, watch movies via the Internet at a site like hulu.com, which offers commercial movies and TV shows.) You can make this a fun date, too, by popping your own popcorn or making fresh cookies, turning off the lights and snuggling close together.
*Play online instead of on a console. If you, like my fiancé, are an avid gamer, you know that buying all those new games can add up really quickly. Why not play free online games instead? There are many interesting ones -- even high-quality ones, too, that are worth playing. Unlike some MMORPGs, they aren't all fee-based. Check out Liberated Games (a clean, crisp site listing a bunch of available games) or Net-Games (a busier site chock-full of links to smaller games) for some insights.
*Cut out the latte. You knew this one was coming, didn't you? With the economy in a bit of a confusion, Starbucks is closing a number of its stores... no doubt due to people cutting back on their daily coffees in order to save money. Lattes are the classic "luxury" items that most people drop as soon as they need to cut back on their spending. Here I'm using it not as a specific item, but as a symbol: What is your "latte" that you're spending an money for, on a daily or weekly basis? Turn your latte into homemade coffee -- find ways to substitute those luxuries for something similar, cheaper, yet still satisfactory. You can do it! That's what DIY is for, after all.
Find more ways to live better and more frugally at The Simple Dollar, a wonderful blog by a regular guy who has figured out how to live well without spending a lot. He also has great advice about how to avoid making mistakes and what to do if you've made a big one. It's worth checking out even if you think you're doing well financially.
A note to my readers: I am not paid for nor am I advertising these links. Most of these are just for your benefit: I gather them while browsing the Web if I think they might be useful to you. If you find that they are not as I've described, or have any other useful knowledge, please leave me a comment.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Tips & Techniques: Be Your Own DJ
One of the most important things about DIY'ing your own wedding is to realize what is and isn't important to you, thereby enabling you to cut back on things you don't care about in order to afford the things you really want. For my fiancé and I, although we are musicians and music lovers, having a live band or DJ just wasn't all that important. My relatives and friends wouldn't really appreciate (or dance to) a great live band, as appealing as it sounds, and I've never really liked DJ services all that much. They seem a little cheesy and I knew that all it would do would make my guests feel a little uncomfortable. Many brides have friends just dying to fill the role. But if you don't have a friend willing to stand in, don't despair! There are plenty of low-cost and do-it-yourself options out there waiting to be explored.
Enlist a funny, outgoing relative or friend as the Master of Ceremonies. They don't have to be "full-time" DJ, but they can help by announcing the various parts of your reception. This is important because it keeps your guests from getting confused, frustrated, or irritated that they don't know what's happening. A good MC can really bring a party to life. Even an "okay" one can keep things rolling smoothly along.
But what about the music? There are two approaches to the problem of playing music in today's high-tech world. (Used to be my dad would make reel-to-reel tapes... those babies last a couple hours at least! But no more... digital music has replaced all that analog. Use it to your advantage!)
The Micro-Manager, Type A Person
Yeah... you know you want all the correct songs in an exact order, don't you? If you have an iPod or mp3 player and a program like iTunes, you're lucky! This is my favored option, mostly because I'm really picky about the songs I want to play and in what order I think they "should" be playing. First, go through your library of songs and determine which of those you want to play. Buy any that you don't have but want, whatever your favorite way of buying new music is. Then compose your playlist(s). There are two distinct ways to do this:
1) Make one Master Playlist of all the songs you'll want, and if you have a favored order, also organize them accordingly. You'll have to appoint someone to keep an eye/ear on the proceedings (a good idea anyway to make sure your mp3 player or laptop doesn't, ahem, walk away). You can choose to shuffle the playlist if you're not particular about the order.
2) Make several different playlists according to the time or kind of song... for example, a playlist composed of your "special dance" songs (first dance, father/daughter dance, wedding party dance, etc.). You can also choose to have a playlist for background dinner music, "get up and party" music, music to play after the older folks have gone to bed... anything you want! Again you can choose to either pick a specific order or to shuffle them. Appoint someone to switch playlists at the appropriate moment.
The Laid-Back, Type B Person
Yeah... you know you're not really sure about what you want played anyway. You want a certain kind of music, maybe, but who even has that much music on their computer/in their album collection anyway? I know there are plenty of people (not me, heehee) who don't have an extensive collection of random music at their disposal. That's why choose-your-music Internet radio is so awesome. Basically, you input the kind of music you like -- a band or singer, or several -- and it comes up with similar music that the program has analyzed and "thinks" you might like. It never runs out of songs and most of the time will not play the same song twice in one session. Just chill... input the kind of thing you want, rate it accordingly until it plays what you want it to, and simply log in for a no-hassle DJ-less option. The only requirement is an Internet access point... be sure to ask your venue well ahead of time if this is possible.
A couple great personalized Internet radio sites:
Pandora
last.fm
Both of these require you to bring your relatively expensive technological equipment to your reception. To minimize scares, appoint someone to be in charge of them and to take them back safely once the reception is over. If you're still unsure but you have an old laptop you hardly use, take that one along... at least if it gets lost you won't feel as much pain.
This also usually requires the rental of appropriate equipment, like speakers and a microphone and such. Make sure that this is at least okay with your venue... you don't want to do things not with code or against your contract. Often these rentals can be done through the venue as well, which probably would make them happier too. If you can, test their equipment with yours to make sure there are no compatibility "surprises" the day of. The great thing about DJs is that they have their own professional-level equipment and know what to do if something fails. Have your own contingency plans just in case, and don't freak out.
Just remember to have fun. Choosing your own music can make the reception really personal... choose songs you both love and it will shine through!
Enlist a funny, outgoing relative or friend as the Master of Ceremonies. They don't have to be "full-time" DJ, but they can help by announcing the various parts of your reception. This is important because it keeps your guests from getting confused, frustrated, or irritated that they don't know what's happening. A good MC can really bring a party to life. Even an "okay" one can keep things rolling smoothly along.
But what about the music? There are two approaches to the problem of playing music in today's high-tech world. (Used to be my dad would make reel-to-reel tapes... those babies last a couple hours at least! But no more... digital music has replaced all that analog. Use it to your advantage!)
The Micro-Manager, Type A Person
Yeah... you know you want all the correct songs in an exact order, don't you? If you have an iPod or mp3 player and a program like iTunes, you're lucky! This is my favored option, mostly because I'm really picky about the songs I want to play and in what order I think they "should" be playing. First, go through your library of songs and determine which of those you want to play. Buy any that you don't have but want, whatever your favorite way of buying new music is. Then compose your playlist(s). There are two distinct ways to do this:
1) Make one Master Playlist of all the songs you'll want, and if you have a favored order, also organize them accordingly. You'll have to appoint someone to keep an eye/ear on the proceedings (a good idea anyway to make sure your mp3 player or laptop doesn't, ahem, walk away). You can choose to shuffle the playlist if you're not particular about the order.
2) Make several different playlists according to the time or kind of song... for example, a playlist composed of your "special dance" songs (first dance, father/daughter dance, wedding party dance, etc.). You can also choose to have a playlist for background dinner music, "get up and party" music, music to play after the older folks have gone to bed... anything you want! Again you can choose to either pick a specific order or to shuffle them. Appoint someone to switch playlists at the appropriate moment.
The Laid-Back, Type B Person
Yeah... you know you're not really sure about what you want played anyway. You want a certain kind of music, maybe, but who even has that much music on their computer/in their album collection anyway? I know there are plenty of people (not me, heehee) who don't have an extensive collection of random music at their disposal. That's why choose-your-music Internet radio is so awesome. Basically, you input the kind of music you like -- a band or singer, or several -- and it comes up with similar music that the program has analyzed and "thinks" you might like. It never runs out of songs and most of the time will not play the same song twice in one session. Just chill... input the kind of thing you want, rate it accordingly until it plays what you want it to, and simply log in for a no-hassle DJ-less option. The only requirement is an Internet access point... be sure to ask your venue well ahead of time if this is possible.
A couple great personalized Internet radio sites:
Pandora
last.fm
Both of these require you to bring your relatively expensive technological equipment to your reception. To minimize scares, appoint someone to be in charge of them and to take them back safely once the reception is over. If you're still unsure but you have an old laptop you hardly use, take that one along... at least if it gets lost you won't feel as much pain.
This also usually requires the rental of appropriate equipment, like speakers and a microphone and such. Make sure that this is at least okay with your venue... you don't want to do things not with code or against your contract. Often these rentals can be done through the venue as well, which probably would make them happier too. If you can, test their equipment with yours to make sure there are no compatibility "surprises" the day of. The great thing about DJs is that they have their own professional-level equipment and know what to do if something fails. Have your own contingency plans just in case, and don't freak out.
Just remember to have fun. Choosing your own music can make the reception really personal... choose songs you both love and it will shine through!
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Check This Out!
One of my favorite gals from a message board I frequent has her own blog here on Blogger/Blogspot! It's specifically aimed at maids of honor/bridesmaids, but she's got some great tips for anyone involved in a wedding.
She recently, as in yesterday I believe, was the maid of honor (slash unofficial official planner coordinator person) for her sister's wedding. Check out her site for helpful tips and funny stories!
Monster of Honor
She recently, as in yesterday I believe, was the maid of honor (slash unofficial official planner coordinator person) for her sister's wedding. Check out her site for helpful tips and funny stories!
Monster of Honor
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