Tips & Techniques: Simple Weddings

Most people probably assume that "simple" weddings are easy weddings. Not necessarily! For one thing, what does "simple" really mean? Are we talking about the ceremony? The reception? The theme? The expense? The answer to that question really changes the outcome of the planning process.

When I say "simple" I mean a short, basic ceremony with a streamlined, no-frills reception. These are great for older couples that don't want a lot of fuss, second (or third or fourth) marriages, or couples that just don't want to deal with all the hassle a "normal" wedding can cause. That being said, it doesn't have to be boring or feel "cheap."

Boring weddings are usually also impersonal. They don't connect the guests to the couple and often just feel like going through the motions. What you want for your guests is that they feel you are honored by their presence (hence the wording on the invitations). It's best that everyone feels like they were chosen for good reason - not just another name to tick off the list and add to the gifts. That's where personalized wedding favors - even small, inexpensive ones - can really help you. Explain the things that mean something - even if that's just by getting the best man to grab the mic for a couple minutes. Little touches are often the most important.

"Cheap" weddings are the ones where the guests feel like they are more of a burden to you than a welcome face. It's especially insulting if you obviously spent a lot of money in other areas and decided to spend as little as possible per guest. You can save a lot of money by reducing the amount you spend per person, but do it in a way that still makes it feel special. That's where handmade or otherwise personalized items really work. If you still can't afford the amount you're spending, rethink the guest list: maybe it's better to celebrate your union in a nice way with a few people than to make it bare-bones with a larger number.

If you decide you want a simple wedding, think carefully about what traditions are most important to you. If you couldn't care less about the bouquet toss, don't do it! If you don't want a fancy dinner, pass around some hors d'oeuvres. Streamline everything so it goes smoothly without a lot of distractions.
Secondly, think carefully about your guest list (even without considering the budget). Simple weddings work well for very small, intimate gatherings; your guests can focus on you, not the "stuff" - and because of the small size, you can reciprocate the attention. Larger receptions might feel a bit naked, but this can be fixed by creating the right atmosphere. An interesting, but not busy, location is perfect for a simple wedding.

Bottom line: Simple weddings beg for intimacy and streamlining. Don't go for cheap - go for special.