I'm back! And a How-To: Ridiculously Easy Centerpieces

Apparently grad school takes just a little more time during the semester than I anticipated. Hopefully next semester will find me in better command of my time... but I'm back for the winter break with a lovely easy how-to to share. More updates to come, if I'm not too busy visiting more venues!

Centerpieces add that little decorated "touch" to every table in a reception. But most of the time your guests probably won't remember what was there -- what's a money-savvy bride to do? Spend as little as possible, of course!

Look out for good sales, thrift stores, and places you can buy "off" merchandise, in bulk, at lower prices. There are a number of stores that sell items that can be used very easily for centerpieces and other venue decoration. Check with your venue to see what is and isn't allowed; lit candles, confetti, and glitter are among the common banned items, and you don't want to get your heart set on something only to find it's disallowed!

These particular centerpieces are all variations on a theme, using glass vases as the base. For many of them, other pieces of pottery or colored glass works well too; if you want to, experiment by buying just one and playing around with items, colors, and shapes. You'll be pleasantly surprised at what you can do easily and for very little money.

Variation 1: Sweet Treats

Items needed:
*One large or several smaller glass vases per table
*Small wrapped candies such as Hershey's Kisses

Fill the glass vase(s) with the candy. If you can find candy in your wedding colors, this works particularly well. The best part? This can serve as favors and/or a substitute for the currently-popular "candy bar"! For an added pretty touch, layer a few different colors (or alternate two) like a parfait.

I told you these were easy!

Variation 2: Layered Beauties

Items needed:
*One large or several smaller glass vases per table
*Clear and colored glass "drops" (round, flat-bottomed glass pieces used in crafting) or other colored craft material like sand or glass pebbles

When I was younger, I used to get those craft kits that have colored sand that you layer in a bottle and save for decoration. These work on the same principle. Simply pour in the material you have in the order you like (possible combination: clear, one wedding color, clear, another wedding color, then repeat). You can vary the thickness of the layers too. Experiment until you find a combination that works for you.

Variation 3: Bridesmaids' Specials

I got this idea from a website, but for the life of me I can't remember which one. It's definitely a great option, though. This works best if you have a number of bridesmaids and not too many tables.

Items needed:
*Glass flower vases, one per table
*Bridesmaids' bouquets (after the ceremony, of course!)

Set up the vases on each of the tables you want decorated. After the ceremony, have your bridesmaids either put their whole bouquets in the vases, or break them up into smaller bunches for each table. If you want, you can have a bit of water in the vases to keep them fresher through the rest of the reception.

Variation 4: Hurricane Lamp -- Well, Sort Of

Items needed:
*One large glass vase per table
*Neutral or wedding-color sand
*Several tea lights or one larger candle, in a complementary or matching color

Pour the sand until it fills the vase to a nice height -- depending on the shape of the vase, 1/3 to 1/2 full or more will work. Firmly plant the tea lights or candle into the sand, making sure the flame will be protected by the vase. Done correctly, this should work in a similar manner to a hurricane lamp, but won't be as pricey.

I'm sure there are tons of other variations: use your imagination! Look for later updates on other ridiculously easy centerpieces using other kinds of bases. The possibilities are endless!

And as always, good luck. I'll be scouting out more venue possibilities, and my DF and I want to choose one by the end of the break (end of December). Should be fun :)

Tips & Techniques: Going Green

"Going green" is quickly becoming a big part of modern-day weddings. If you're a bride who is passionate about the environment, it may be important for you to throw a great wedding that's also sustainable and earth-friendly. Although this route may sound great, it can sometimes be a bit tougher than you might anticipate to make your ceremony and reception truly low-impact. Gone are the days of recycled paper; today's earth-conscious mindset is much more about product life-cycles and carbon footprints.

If it all seems a bit overwhelming, don't fret! Here a few dos and don'ts to guide you on your path to a great green event.

DON'T buy products based solely on an "environmentally friendly" label. Unlike many claims (like "low fat"), these are not yet regulated and don't have to be proven before being placed on a product. And many companies are cashing in on the fad, hoping to lure in new customers or get old ones to pay a premium for so-called "green" merchandise.
DO your homework. If you're serious about buying only good-to-the-environment products for your wedding, you need to know the companies that make them as well as the process they go through, before and after the "finished" product. This may lead you to change your plans or even cancel some parts. But in order to truly make a difference with your wedding, you must be willing to spend the time and effort and to sacrifice or change your ideal plan. A simple Google search can give you a few good starting points; from there, look carefully at the company (do they really care about environmental issues or are they just another manufacturer? Your best bet for true green is to go with companies that actually try to reduce their impact as well as yours). Then, look at the process each product goes through in order to be created -- is it costly in terms of energy? Is it shipped across multiple countries, burning up oil in the process? Does it use relatively scarce resources? Does it stay forever in landfills or leach out dangerous chemicals? Your reaction to these possibilities, as well as the level of cost to the environment, can help you determine how to proceed.

DON'T go overboard and obsess over every detail. Concentrate on a few areas in which you can make a larger impact, rather than making yourself crazy trying to do everything. If you can do it all, more power to you. But most brides will not be able to, so don't stress about it too much.
DO try to reduce any excess in your wedding. Having a dinner? Make it plated, rather than buffet; you'll waste less food. Creating a very informal event? Think about reducing the amount of paper you use by inviting people in a nontraditional way (a saver for etiquette: maybe you could send your grandmother a real, paper invitation. She'll appreciate it, and you can be nontraditional for guests your age and still save a lot of paper). Worried about the effect of shipping fresh flowers? Reduce your flower consumption by creating non-floral centerpieces and opting to carry only a few local, in-season blooms. In the long run, many of these options will save you a considerable amount of money and reduce your impact on the environment -- a double bonus!

DON'T force your guests to "convert" to your worldview just to participate in (or watch) your wedding. Yes, you want to save the world; good for you. But you can't expect everyone to share your set of beliefs, and in the end you'll only create resentment. To many, it's even questionable to donate to a charity in lieu of favors for that reason. Of course, wanting to make such a donation is up to you and your DF, and letting your guests know is also your decision. Just think about your reasons for doing anything, and make sure your guests are comfortable rather than squirming in their seats.
DO try to smoothly weave in the environmentally-friendly aspects of your wedding with the more traditional stuff. Perhaps the best "green" victory you could have is your guests not having a clue, just enjoying your awesome party! If they ask, of course tell them the truth... they'll probably be impressed you managed to pull off something so fun while being highly conscious of the environmental impact. A hint or two about its importance could work well for you (a pledge in your vows to each other, for example, or asking your guests to walk or carpool is a way to send a not-too-harsh message about something that's meaningful to you).

DON'T expect the impossible. If you really want a huge blowout reception, you pretty much have to expect that it will have a larger effect than a small, informal one. If you expect a lot of out-of-town guests, you have to accept that larger carbon footprint that comes from cross-country airplane or car trips. This process is really a give-and-take one, and you can't really have your cake and eat it too.
DO focus on what is possible. It's definitely doable to have a "green" wedding; it just takes some effort on your part to ensure that it's as low-impact as you hope for. Concentrate on the things you can do, what will make the most difference, and what you can compromise on to ensure the best outcome.

Long-Distance Relationships

One thing that's a little frightening about the changes happening in my life right now is the idea of having to maintain a long-distance relationship with my fiancé. So many relationships crumble in the face of that kind of stress; many people aren't ready to face the particular problems that come with such separation. When I thought we'd be in a LDR before -- going off to grad school somewhere, while he finds a job -- I really was terrified that we wouldn't make it.

Of course, being engaged really does change things. There's a certain kind of emotional security that comes with it. After all, it's a promise in itself, a kind of pre-committment to spend the rest of your life with someone else. It lessens the fear that another person will come along, or they'll be other distractions. You feel good knowing that they really do want to be with you, that it's not just convenient or some kind of game. So we have that -- and really, that's a wonderful feeling.

Still, there are a few things we need to make sure of once I'm several states away. For one thing, I'm not exactly the best of communicators. To me, there's less of a need to talk to my family and friends every single day... but he really loves just talking to me, hearing my voice, and generally reconnecting to me when we're apart. I have to respect that, and in reality it helps me to maintain a great relationship with him as well. Our solution is to set aside time every night -- say at 8:00 p.m. -- when one of us will call, IM, or email the other (he prefers phone calls). It keeps us at a good place, I think, and we don't even have to talk that long. Just saying "hi, how was your day" is a great way to keep an emotional connection.

Trust is also important in this kind of relationship. We've worked hard to build and maintain that kind of trust, and for some people this aspect can be the most difficult of all. In a LDR, it's probably the most critical part of the relationship. You really have to believe that the other person is doing the right thing, all of the time, and that they're being honest and responsible. Without it, many relationships wither and die, or go through very tough times. This ties in to communication, too; great communication can build trust.

Along with those two is the ever-elusive "respect" for the other person in the relationship. It's one of the hardest things to learn, really -- your SO is a different person, with different needs, and the relationship is a dynamic one. Things change, and you not only have to respect that person but the separate "being" that is the relationship. Compromise is key, and while it's easy to say that, it's not always easy to actually do it. Realizing that the person you love has needs that are different from yours is one of the hardest, yet most important, things you can do.

If you can afford it, getting some kind of counseling (premarital or couple's) is actually a great way to reinforce an already great relationship or fix one that has a few problems that need work. Barring that, talking to someone you can trust -- which works best if it's an objective, yet compassionate, third party -- is a way to try to find useful solutions to issues and problems you might be having.

In any case, I'm hoping for the best of luck with my own LDR as I get ready to head off to graduate school. I think it's a great test for us before we actually get married... in a way I think by exposing any weak spots we might have, it enables us to take care of them right away, rather than letting them fester without realizing it. It also lets us try out living on our own for awhile, cooking for ourselves, and generally taking care of our own business because we have to. That's especially important for me, because I can sometimes be a little too dependent on other people. But it's good for him too: He can learn how to cook!

Budget: Finding the Money, Part II -- The Big Stuff

Welcome to the second part of the series "Finding the Money," discussing how to find the funds for your wedding (or other large purchase) without needing a major windfall. (See the first part here: Part I -- The Small Stuff.)This part will focus on some of the bigger moves you can make to find the money you already have available. Remember, I'm not an accountant or any kind of financial adviser; these are things for you to think about, but always consult a financial planner or adviser if you're unsure before making any drastic changes to your assets. They can save you lots of headaches and heartaches, not to mention they can tell you more ways to tighten up your finances.

I've broken it down into two ways to do these Big Moves. One deals with the way you live; the other, with the way you do your finances. It's up to you which one you pick, but make sure you're ready for the change. Like I said, these are Big Moves, and if you're doing them right, you will have to change yourself as drastically as you do those aspects of your life.

Lifestyle Changes
These might be the hardest of all to consider, much less actually do. Considering how drastic many of these are, before you actually decide to do them, rethink what you want to do for your wedding: are you doing this solely to pay for all the frivolous extras, or are you using it as a catalyst to change your life? The second is preferable, of course, but it's worth it to carefully consider what you're doing.

*Consolidate your households. If you're fine with living together before you get married, consider doing so in order to get rid of all the "extra" payments you may be making. When you get right down to it, you don't need two refrigerators, stoves, TVs, or toasters, and you especially don't need double the "base" cost of keeping those items up and running. Not to mention that by moving in together, you'll cut out the extra rent or house payments, possibly cut down on gas (not having to go back and forth between them, or consolidating errands or work commutes), and maybe make a small dent in the grocery bill. This can be absolutely unacceptable to some people of certain religions, which is certainly fine. But if you're willing to go for it, you may be able to save a significant amount of money. (Alternatively, if you're young, you could both live with your respective parents if they're okay with the idea. If you pay them a certain amount of rent, they can cut their costs as well -- everybody wins!)

*Downgrade your house. Living in a large, expensive house can really take a toll on your finances. In some cases, it can even lead to living beyond your means; thus a part of the housing crisis evident in the US today. If you're able, selling your house and choosing to move into a smaller, more affordable home is a good way to free up some of your assets, rather than putting all your money towards the upkeep of your house. All this "extra," even if you could afford it before, can go towards your next large purchase... or even towards savings. This might be a good thing to do, even if you're not looking to pay for your wedding.

*Eat like you're in grad school. I'll be experiencing this one really soon! Some of you probably still vividly remember the days when you were eating practically nothing but ramen and the occasional bowl of mac 'n' cheese. That's not to say that you should be that frugal; I don't think I could be healthy on that kind of diet. Instead, cut back on the foods that consistently cost you more money; try vegetarian foods (meats are expensive), stop eating prepared frozen meals, quit eating out, and find recipes that consistently save you money instead. Your diet can cost you a surprising amount of money; take it back by choosing less expensive foods.

*Quit shopping. I know a lot of women love to shop as a hobby. If you want to save money, STOP IT. I know, it's not easy for a lot of you... and coming from someone who hates to shop, it might sound a little crazy. But if you think about it, shopping for the sake of shopping is costly -- you're already using gas, and more than likely you'll find something you want to buy. Take away that opportunity, and you'll spend less money. It may be a little harder if you're used to shopping online, but break it like any bad habit: Find a way to replace it. Love perusing eBay or Amazon? Switch to coupon-clipping sites or finance advise pages. (They'll both save rather than cost you money.) Yes, you can still buy things that you need. But evaluate your criteria for "need." Is it really just "want," only in a different form? Then you don't need it. Sure that old sofa is raggedy. But you don't need a new one. Skip it, and save that $1,000 instead.

*Find alternative entertainment. Most people I know spend quite a bit of their monthly income on personal entertainment, things like movies, restaurants, games, and cable TV. None of these are necessary, and it's definitely possible to find alternatives that are just as fun but not nearly as costly. Cutting out 90% of your entertainment budget will hurt in the short run, but save you quite a bit in the long run. Check out your local newsletter or website -- most towns and cities have tons of free stuff to do, especially on the weekends and during the summer. Play outside. Watch broadcast TV instead of cable. Make some crafts (you guys are good at that, right?). Find new ways of having fun with your significant other. You'll probably be happier, and you'll have more money to boot.

*Sell your extras. Have two cars? Sell one and carpool to work. Extra knick-knacks? eBay 'em away. A coffee table you haven't used in 5 years? Put it on Craigslist to find a willing buyer. Or, alternatively, host a big yard sale (or join your neighborhood sale) and sell anything you don't need any more. This is a great thing to do, too, if you're considering consolidating or downsizing households; by getting rid of a bunch of old stuff, you'll be able to see more clearly what you do and don't need. (Donate anything that doesn't sell to your local charities. It's a good thing to do, and you can get a tax break for it.)

Financial Changes
I'm not an expert by any means on finances. Please take the time to look up information relevant to your situation, either by browsing the Internet (see a couple sites I found below) or by grilling your financial adviser.
Mind Your Finances
CNN's Money 101
Forbes Personal Finance (a bit busy but worth checking out)

*Taking out a loan. This is probably something you should do only as a last resort. Personal loans are pretty risky unless you're absolutely sure you'll be able to pay them back. That said, they can be a better option than putting everything on a credit card, which usually has high fees and interest rates, if you need a bit of an "extension" on your finances between paychecks. Just pay them back as soon as possible, and make sure you can pay extra each month to reduce the principal. I still wouldn't go for this option if it can be avoided. If you do this, go for a low interest rate, and only borrow what you need. Any little bit extra will balloon quickly into "a lot" extra.

*Ask your financial adviser about good investments. If your assets include a checking account, a savings account, and little else, now is a good time to talk to a financial adviser about other investments you can make. There are many possible ways to invest, some more risky and higher-yielding, and others less risky and with lower yields. Decide which ones are right for you, with the help of a real finances person, in order to maximize your earnings. I won't put any specific suggestions here because I'm not really the right person for it; do your own research, though, because you'll probably find something right for you.

*Look at a higher-interest account such as those from ING, which offers both checking and savings accounts at a higher interest rates than "traditional" accounts. There is one catch, however: these accounts are not FDIC insured, which means in the event of a crash that leaves the company out of business, you have little resource to get your cash back. Keep some money in a traditional, FDIC insured bank, but it might be worth it to keep "extra" money in an ING account, earning (sometimes) more than double the normal interest rate.

*Consolidate the loans you already have especially if those loans are student loans. This is easier if you took out several loans from the same company, but it can be done even if you have several different ones through different lenders. Most lenders will offer a lower interest rate on consolidated loans, thus saving you money; if you have extra during a month, you can pay towards the combined principal. Consolidating loans will usually save quite a bit over the life of the loans, but read over the terms carefully, and consult your financial adviser about your choices. You don't want to end up with a consolidated loan that's more costly than the originals.

*Cut up your credit cards or at least all but one of them, keeping one only for emergencies. Pay off the balance as soon as possible if you're carrying a lot of debt. The high interest rates and late fees on credit cards make them poor options for "lending" money to yourself. Credit card debt is one of the leading ways Americans dig a debt hole for themselves; you don't want to be another one owing more than $4,000 on a credit card. That's painful -- and costly too.

*Whatever you do, DON'T take it from your retirement accounts. Not only does this cost the future you the amount you're taking out, it costs you the interest you could have earned as well, not to mention the taxes and fees leveraged in some cases on the money if you take it out early. Taking money from your retirement accounts early should only be done in cases of extreme need -- an unexpectedly sky-high medical condition not covered by insurance, or something equally drastic.

Don't go into serious debt to fund your wedding. A wedding is really not that necessary. If you're thinking about doing so, you need to seriously reevaluate -- scale back the wedding, postpone it, do it at the courthouse, anything but going into lots of debt. That's no way to start your life together. Start it instead on a positive, solid financial footing. You'll both be thankful, and you may even learn how to live in a better way in the process.

Budget: Finding the Money, Part I -- The Small Stuff

Welcome to a two-part series all about helping you find the money for your wedding in your everyday life. So many of us are worried about being able to afford the costs of our dream wedding; after all, the average wedding costs nearly $28,000 (according to The Knot), and few of us have that kind of cash just lying around. Today we'll be focusing on the small, daily things you can do to start saving the money for your wedding. Just remember: it's not about how much you spend or how extravagant you make your reception. It's all about the love between you and your SO... big wedding or not.

There are simple steps you can take to make the huge task of money-managing more, well, manageable.

First, make a budget
If you already have one for everyday life, great! You're a huge part of the way there; most Americans really don't know how much they're spending on a day-to-day or monthly basis, even for things like food and clothing. Make a budget that accurately reflects what you're currently spending on these items, plus rent/utilities or house payments, car payments, phone bills, etc. and a realistic approximation of how much you spend on "luxury" items. Base it on a week, two weeks, or a month, rather than a year, as this will allow you to tackle your spending more easily.

The Mint has personal budget software and a service that synchronizes all your bank accounts for you. It's a sign-up service, but free (probably because the banks that work with them pay a fee).
Budget Tracker is less pretty but just as free, allowing a wide range of services and applications for budgeting, paying bills, etc. This one is also sign-up-based.

Now, really look at it
Take a hard look at your spending. Are you paying more than you should by going over your minutes on your cell phone, or going on several shopping sprees a month? Are you buying too much food? What about your luxuries?

The point of making a budget in the first place is to force yourself to face the reality of what you spend. By scrutinizing where your money is going, you'll be better able to figure out where you can cut back in order to save for your wedding (or for any large purchase later in life).

Then find ways to cut back
This doesn't have to be complicated. You don't necessarily have to invest your money in order to afford a wedding. Since we're focusing on the "small stuff" today, we'll look at habits that can be scaled back in order to save.

*Do your own "round up" program. You know those bank accounts that round up what you spend to the next $0.50 or $1, and put the difference in your savings? You don't necessarily need to sign up for a program like that in order to reap those kinds of benefits. Since you have a good budget now, try this: Portion a realistic amount to spend per week (or month) on something that tends to be the same week-to-week (or month-to-month) -- say, grocery bills. Make a mental note, or if you're prone to overspending, take only that amount of cash with you when you go shopping. If you spend less than that, put the difference into a savings account. Even a few dollars a week can add up pretty quickly. If you tend to spend more than that on a frequent basis, you probably haven't budgeted it right. Fix it, then try again.
Or sign up for rounding programs that match your own contribution, like the one at Bank of America.

*Cut coupons. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's boring and seems silly, but it's surprising how much this can really add up. If you use Internet coupons, make sure your local stores are taking them in order to avoid a headache when checking out. Pair this with the previous tip, and you can really start to see the difference!

*Learn to cook well. Not only is cooking fun, but it can be a cost-effective way of entertaining yourselves and others. If you're in the habit of going to a nice restaurant every Saturday night, that can really take a bite out of your potential savings. Scale back this activity by making it a "night in." Find an intriguing recipe (not too complicated if you're just starting the gourmet stuff) in a cookbook or on the Internet (I really like AllRecipes.com -- look for ones with a high star rating). Set some mood lighting if you want an "experience." This is nearly always less expensive than going to a restaurant, and if you cook with your fiancé(e), it can be a more meaningful weekly date.

*Stay in for movie night. Like cooking your own gourmet meal, this can still be special without having to spend so much money. I really do understand that going to the movies is an "experience" that can't be duplicated, but instead of doing that every week, cut down to once a month and stay in for movie night the rest of the time. Rent a movie from a local video rental store (I have a Video Warehouse near me that's a "membership" based store, but rents at rock-bottom prices) or from a service like Netflix. (Alternatively, watch movies via the Internet at a site like hulu.com, which offers commercial movies and TV shows.) You can make this a fun date, too, by popping your own popcorn or making fresh cookies, turning off the lights and snuggling close together.

*Play online instead of on a console. If you, like my fiancé, are an avid gamer, you know that buying all those new games can add up really quickly. Why not play free online games instead? There are many interesting ones -- even high-quality ones, too, that are worth playing. Unlike some MMORPGs, they aren't all fee-based. Check out Liberated Games (a clean, crisp site listing a bunch of available games) or Net-Games (a busier site chock-full of links to smaller games) for some insights.

*Cut out the latte. You knew this one was coming, didn't you? With the economy in a bit of a confusion, Starbucks is closing a number of its stores... no doubt due to people cutting back on their daily coffees in order to save money. Lattes are the classic "luxury" items that most people drop as soon as they need to cut back on their spending. Here I'm using it not as a specific item, but as a symbol: What is your "latte" that you're spending an money for, on a daily or weekly basis? Turn your latte into homemade coffee -- find ways to substitute those luxuries for something similar, cheaper, yet still satisfactory. You can do it! That's what DIY is for, after all.

Find more ways to live better and more frugally at The Simple Dollar, a wonderful blog by a regular guy who has figured out how to live well without spending a lot. He also has great advice about how to avoid making mistakes and what to do if you've made a big one. It's worth checking out even if you think you're doing well financially.

A note to my readers: I am not paid for nor am I advertising these links. Most of these are just for your benefit: I gather them while browsing the Web if I think they might be useful to you. If you find that they are not as I've described, or have any other useful knowledge, please leave me a comment.

Tips & Techniques: Be Your Own DJ

One of the most important things about DIY'ing your own wedding is to realize what is and isn't important to you, thereby enabling you to cut back on things you don't care about in order to afford the things you really want. For my fiancé and I, although we are musicians and music lovers, having a live band or DJ just wasn't all that important. My relatives and friends wouldn't really appreciate (or dance to) a great live band, as appealing as it sounds, and I've never really liked DJ services all that much. They seem a little cheesy and I knew that all it would do would make my guests feel a little uncomfortable. Many brides have friends just dying to fill the role. But if you don't have a friend willing to stand in, don't despair! There are plenty of low-cost and do-it-yourself options out there waiting to be explored.

Enlist a funny, outgoing relative or friend as the Master of Ceremonies. They don't have to be "full-time" DJ, but they can help by announcing the various parts of your reception. This is important because it keeps your guests from getting confused, frustrated, or irritated that they don't know what's happening. A good MC can really bring a party to life. Even an "okay" one can keep things rolling smoothly along.

But what about the music? There are two approaches to the problem of playing music in today's high-tech world. (Used to be my dad would make reel-to-reel tapes... those babies last a couple hours at least! But no more... digital music has replaced all that analog. Use it to your advantage!)

The Micro-Manager, Type A Person
Yeah... you know you want all the correct songs in an exact order, don't you? If you have an iPod or mp3 player and a program like iTunes, you're lucky! This is my favored option, mostly because I'm really picky about the songs I want to play and in what order I think they "should" be playing. First, go through your library of songs and determine which of those you want to play. Buy any that you don't have but want, whatever your favorite way of buying new music is. Then compose your playlist(s). There are two distinct ways to do this:

1) Make one Master Playlist of all the songs you'll want, and if you have a favored order, also organize them accordingly. You'll have to appoint someone to keep an eye/ear on the proceedings (a good idea anyway to make sure your mp3 player or laptop doesn't, ahem, walk away). You can choose to shuffle the playlist if you're not particular about the order.

2) Make several different playlists according to the time or kind of song... for example, a playlist composed of your "special dance" songs (first dance, father/daughter dance, wedding party dance, etc.). You can also choose to have a playlist for background dinner music, "get up and party" music, music to play after the older folks have gone to bed... anything you want! Again you can choose to either pick a specific order or to shuffle them. Appoint someone to switch playlists at the appropriate moment.

The Laid-Back, Type B Person
Yeah... you know you're not really sure about what you want played anyway. You want a certain kind of music, maybe, but who even has that much music on their computer/in their album collection anyway? I know there are plenty of people (not me, heehee) who don't have an extensive collection of random music at their disposal. That's why choose-your-music Internet radio is so awesome. Basically, you input the kind of music you like -- a band or singer, or several -- and it comes up with similar music that the program has analyzed and "thinks" you might like. It never runs out of songs and most of the time will not play the same song twice in one session. Just chill... input the kind of thing you want, rate it accordingly until it plays what you want it to, and simply log in for a no-hassle DJ-less option. The only requirement is an Internet access point... be sure to ask your venue well ahead of time if this is possible.

A couple great personalized Internet radio sites:
Pandora
last.fm

Both of these require you to bring your relatively expensive technological equipment to your reception. To minimize scares, appoint someone to be in charge of them and to take them back safely once the reception is over. If you're still unsure but you have an old laptop you hardly use, take that one along... at least if it gets lost you won't feel as much pain.

This also usually requires the rental of appropriate equipment, like speakers and a microphone and such. Make sure that this is at least okay with your venue... you don't want to do things not with code or against your contract. Often these rentals can be done through the venue as well, which probably would make them happier too. If you can, test their equipment with yours to make sure there are no compatibility "surprises" the day of. The great thing about DJs is that they have their own professional-level equipment and know what to do if something fails. Have your own contingency plans just in case, and don't freak out.

Just remember to have fun. Choosing your own music can make the reception really personal... choose songs you both love and it will shine through!

Check This Out!

One of my favorite gals from a message board I frequent has her own blog here on Blogger/Blogspot! It's specifically aimed at maids of honor/bridesmaids, but she's got some great tips for anyone involved in a wedding.

She recently, as in yesterday I believe, was the maid of honor (slash unofficial official planner coordinator person) for her sister's wedding. Check out her site for helpful tips and funny stories!

Monster of Honor

Tips & Techniques: Name that Color!

One of the fun parts of wedding planning is choosing a beautiful palatte of colors to work with, thus making the decisions about which linens, flowers, decor, etc. to use a little easier. But how do you communicate your choices to friends and vendors without sending out hundreds of sample swatches? I can help with this sort of thing: choose the appropriate adjective(s) for your colors so everyone has a relatively clear idea of what you're talking about. To get you off on the right track, here's a summary of what each adjective really means, and how to get your maid of honor to stop picking out those cherry red dresses when you really want crimson.

First, a quick review of terms I'll be using:
Shade - simply used to describe the darkness or lightness of a particular color
Hue - the actual "color" of a color, referring to where it lands on the color wheel
Saturation - the intensity of a particular color; the more intense, the easier the color is to spot

Now, your adjectives!:

True: You've heard the expression "true blue" right? Well it actually has a more literal meaning too... these are the "pure" forms of the primary and secondary colors (blue, red, yellow and green, orange, purple), without any taint of other colors to give them a different hue. They can be slightly harsh when paired together, but choosing the right one or two can give a great clean, fresh look, particularly when paired with white. "Christmas colors" are usually true green and red, often with an accent or third color of true white.

Bright: These colors are a bit tricky to categorize, and can also (more accurately) referred to as brilliant or saturated colors. They are intense colors that seem vivid as opposed to muted, and catch the eye more easily. Bright colors are often used in "tropical" color combinations and will work well as an accent color also. Before using too many of these, I recommend spending some time with a person whose taste you really trust! Brighter colors can work well for a summer wedding and are set off well by the more intense sun at that time of year.

Neon: Neon colors are extremely bright to the eye and probably should not be used as a main color, unless you're absolutely certain that it will work well for your event. Two or more will be harsh on your guests' eyes -- think '80s Barbie clothes! Use of neon colors will often convey an informal, young tone. They can be pulled off, but ask that tasteful person you know first.

Light: These colors are a shade removed from their "true" counterparts, going up on the white scale without distorting the hue by adding other colors. Opposite of "dark," light colors are perfect for spring and summer weddings that don't want to use pastel or bright colors, respectively. Light colors are easy on the eye and, with the exception of red, work for nearly every hue as a more subdued version.

Pastel: Pastels are shades whiter than "light" colors. They are off-and-on as popular colors for spring/early summer weddings. Several pastels together can be used for a lovely effect, but be cautious when choosing them for bridesmaid dresses; many of us with "fair" skin tones get really washed out! That being said, it is of course your prerogative :)

Pale: Pale goes even a step beyond pastel in the white scale, implying a shade of color just next to white. Pale colors are barely there, and are most often paired with white as an almost "off-white on white" effect. In blue or green, pale hues work well for winter weddings with "ice" or "snow" themes. Be as careful with pale colors as pastel; too much and the effect can be washed out, both in the room and on your friends.

Dark: The opposite of "light", going down the black scale and of the same saturation as true colors. Dark colors are most often used as winter or fall colors, as they "feel" heavier than lighter colors because of the added visual weight. Dark reds are more flattering to wear, in general, then true reds or pinks and because of that (and their association with roses) remain a popular half of the white or ivory and red color combination.

Muted: These colors are opposite of "bright" and are less saturated than "true" colors (meaning they look more gray and less eye-catching). On the darker side, they are often used as fall colors in fashion, and pair well with various shades of brown. Perfect colors for autumn weddings and for gals like me that shy away from the brighter color combinations.

Dull: An extreme version of muted, dull colors are quite close to the gray end of the saturation scale. These can be used well for a nature theme or in the fall, but be careful; it can be easy to add a few too many dull colors, confusing the effect. To temper the effects of both colors, they can be paired with a "true" or even "bright" tone; just be careful with your choice!

Deep: Slightly more difficult to categorize are "deep" colors, which combine several other terms into one. "Deep" implies both a very dark color and one that is slightly muted, creating a very rich tone that seems to be full of color. Because of both of these characteristics, deep colors' best time is in the fall; deep blues and greens are fairly popular choices and can be very sophisticated. Try not to pick too many, or the effect can be overwhelming.

Dusty: Also described as "antique," and again a combination term, "dusty" colors are light/pastel/pale colors that are slightly to very muted in tone. To me they've always looked like colors you might see in your grandma's old needlepoints, and almost invariably when I'm doing needlework I see a color described as "dusty rose." These can easily make you seem stuffy, but just as easily can be a lovely understatement, particularly with a theme of "something old."

Note that many names of colors encompass an implication of these terms without directly using them, and some of those colors are hotly disputed. It's hard to go wrong with "pure white,"* but ask someone what "periwinkle" is and you'll get a different explanation every time. For an absolutely awesome list of color names and what they mean, see The Phrontistery. Don't expect everyone to know what they mean, however; use the above information to tell everyone what you have in mind, and for absolute clarity pick up samples (paint chips, small swatches of fabrics, true-printed papers, etc.) to give out. And for goodness' sake, don't rely on a vendor's color name to match what you think the color "should" be! Always check it first; I read a story the other day about a lady fuming mad that her "apple" colored maid-of-honor dress (one that she ordered online) was green rather than red!

Best of luck, as always!

*I know that there can be a great deal of confusion about wedding-dress whites: pure white, diamond white, ivory, and champagne are the four I can think of, and they are both fairly easy to define and pretty consistent across the wedding industry (thankfully!). Pure white is just that: white without any alteration, and in a perfect world reflects every wavelength of light. Diamond white is tinged slightly bluish, although just barely -- so "barely" it's not even a "pale blue" yet! Both of the above colors flatter darker skin tones. Ivory is a yellowish off-white that normally shows up as white in photographs unless you're standing next to something pure white in color, and flatters yellowish undertones in skin. Champagne is a darker yellow-tan color, not really a white but often an "antique" color that flatters pinkish undertones. I suggest trying on dresses in different colors to find which ones flatter you most, making sure the samples are clean enough to give you an idea of the right color (ask for a swatch of their own if you're not sure)!

I'm Back!

Phew! I had a wonderful vacation with my family, but I'm so glad to finally be out of the car! I hope you guys have had a restful middle of the summer as well.

My fiance was with us for the first time... it was a little strange to have him along for a family thing, but he fit right in. I'm really thankful it wasn't awkward. He was just breezy about the whole thing. Love him to death :)

I did have a few thoughts on the way (and some now that I've come back). Hopefully I'll have some good in-depth postings later, but for now, a word about signing up for stuff on the Internet:

If you don't have to, DON'T! I had about 200 emails waiting for me when I got back home, at least half of those "junk" mail from various wedding-related things! I signed up for some of those because I wanted to get some good tips for you guys, but they just keep coming. It's fun to sign up for sweepstakes, but try to use a junk account for it. Otherwise you'll be completely inundated with stuff you don't care about. For now I just manage it and try to farm them for tips to pass on ;) Not really that useful, though. Most of it you can search for on wedding-related sites. After awhile, it all looks the same, unfortunately.

Especially avoid David's Bridal. I'm sure they can be a great place to find a bargain dress, but they sell your email address to companies that aren't even wedding-related. Not cool. If you want "updates" on their products, check out their website every once in awhile. They don't send coupons through emails either; all their discounts are for everyone (which is actually great). They cycle those sales through, so if you miss one, wait for the next. Just don't sign up to win a free dress or to get information! It's not worth it!

There, now I've gotten that out of the way :) I hope you've had a great and productive 3 weeks while I've been gone!

On the Hunt: Visiting Venues

My fiancé and I just spent the last three days looking at different sites -- our first real "wedding planning" stuff together! We had a lot of fun. There are so many different options out there, and it's especially interesting to look at places that embody both "where" you are and "who" you are as a couple. You want to ensure that the ceremony and reception are both of these -- or at least the latter. Since many in both our families are from different parts of the US, we want to reflect what's unique about our city and region.

So far we've looked at three very different kinds of places. There are several other types we're considering as well, but since we've only visited four sites (two of them the same "kind" of thing) I'm not sure yet what we'll pick. But it's really wonderful to see all these sites... it's definitely one of the most exciting parts of this whole thing so far.

The first was a little surprising to me; by the time we went to the appointment I had forgotten completely what the venue actually looks like. In some places, like ours, there are a number of "banquet halls" to rent; since where I live there aren't a lot of Elk Lodges and the like, these fill in the gaps. Most of the time, they are relatively inexpensive to rent, and many of them offer in-house catering/waitstaff with options to include other services like decorations, music, different linens, etc. The downside is that they usually have no windows and are in places like malls or strip malls with bland exteriors like "big box" stores. I have no problem with people who decide to go this route; our quote was around $4500 for the rental and catering (low end of the entrée pricing) and fits well into a budget that can't be stretched far. The decorations inside are very nice (small chandeliers and strands of Christmas-tree lights along the ceiling) and there's a dance floor and stage... everything you might want in a basic room for several different purposes. Although it's not for us, it's definitely something we would consider if we had a tighter budget. If you decide to go with this kind of hall, check out several if you can and pay attention to the state of the venue itself: is it stained or otherwise dirty? Does it smell fresh or stale? Do the decorations act as a good "base" for the kind of décor you envision? If there are options for you, make sure you carefully check everything out and pick the things and people you're most comfortable with. I should emphasize the latter; if the staff makes you feel uncomfortable, choose someplace else! It won't hurt them, and in the end everyone

The second type of place we've seen is an old historic home re-made into a "special event venue" -- these places tend to have a number of in-house services, and both of the places we looked at had suggested vendors as well. One of the best parts of these places, other than some of the discounts you may get with an "all-inclusive" package, is a wedding coordinator and/or a wedding director. Rather than having to do everything yourself you get someone who has years of experience to help you during the day of -- yeah, I know the title of the site is "DIY" but who really wants to be pulled every which way during their wedding day? The downside with these places is that some of them don't allow you to get outside vendors to come in -- the last site we visited requires all the centerpieces, linens, decorating flowers, etc. to be through them. Dang, I've already purchased candleholders for centerpieces! I haven't talked to them about this little snag (there may be a way to work with them -- I don't know) but it makes me feel a little restricted even when they have an abundance of options. This same place has a minimum centerpiece/florist fee of $325, which is fine... but I was planning on spending no more than $150 total on that stuff. Still, it might be worth it because of reduced costs in other aspects. It just bothers me a little. The first site like this we visited, however, has a different policy; while they have "regular" linens, table settings, and centerpieces, they allow you to get outside vendors and will work with them to produce your "vision" (I hate that term, but... what can you do?). I'd definitely ask about this when you have initial meetings with this type of venue; you don't want to be surprised after you already have your heart set on something!

The third type of place was something in-between. It seems like it had been built specifically for events -- like the first type -- but with the surroundings in mind, as though they'd been built like a house. This particular one has huge windows and a tall ceiling with a little balcony overseeing the main floor; the exterior has a small garden (with gorgeous spring-blooming plants, a gazebo, and an old-style water fountain!) that can be used for small- to medium-sized ceremonies. It is really stunning and contemporary, although the pictures on the website really don't do it justice. My groom likes this one the best so far. We're both very impressed. But we'll definitely be looking at other sites before we decide anything final.

It works really well to find a number of sites somehow -- suggestions of friends, websites, local wedding planner magazines, etc. -- then set up appointments to visit each one before making any decisions. Often they can give you an estimate of sorts and tell you how they run things; the more professional types will have materials they'll give to you for your files. This can give you a great idea of how much you'd be spending on the services they provide (to whatever extent they are) and you'll have something to remind you of the visit and what you liked or didn't. Take a note of your thoughts about each one right after you've visited them (don't forget to ask your other half how they feel!) so you can compare them all more easily. Like your dress, you want to give yourself enough time and options so you can pick the one that works best for you.


P.S. I'm headed to Maine for 3 or so weeks for a family reunion, sans laptop and Internet access, so I won't be updating for awhile :( However, I'm taking some stuff along with me, so I'm sure I'll have plenty of stories and such when I get back! Good luck while I'm gone :)

Downloadables: Save the Dates

Okay, just for you guys I'm trying out a new category: Downloadables. I'll be making documents, templates, etc. and uploading them to a site where you can download them! Free, of course. :)

The first one is a set of save-the-date postcards, which you can print on pre-perforated cardstock (find them at a local office supply store). Print the first page (room for an address, postage, and a note to your guests) on one side of the cardstock, and the other (picture and info) on the opposite side.

To use the form, fill out the text fields; there are 5 in all, including (from top to bottom), the bride's name, an "&" or "and" (whatever you type), the groom's name, the date of the wedding, and the url of your wedding site. It should look something like this:




Note where each text field is and play around with it until you get it right. I had to hide the text boxes so they don't print out the ugly borders, so it's not immediately obvious where they are. Eventually I may be able to make forms like this that also have spots for images of your choice -- for now I'll be putting my own little generic drawings. If you don't have the same fonts on your computer as I do, you may get something the computer "thinks" is similar. If that bothers you please let me know.

Download the form here and save it to your computer before you work on it. Please let me know if you have any issues or problems! I'll try my best to make these things as easy to use as possible. :)

Tips & Techniques: Wedding Stationery

I've been thinking lately about all the "paper stuff" I'll be creating for our wedding. (As a hardcore DIYer, you can bet I don't want to leave that to professional printers! Although I'm sure many of you out there are way too stressed to handle this stuff yourself.) I've been getting dazed and confused trying to keep everything straight... it's amazing how all this stuff adds up. So to help myself and anyone else getting frazzled, I've put together a list of all the possible stationery items you might need to have printed (and/or coordinated!).

Sent to your guests
Invitations: I know what you're thinking: That's obvious, Joan! Of course it's obvious. But what isn't obvious is all the questions you'll have to answer: A7, square, tea length, or custom? Hand-written calligraphy, thermography, engraving, or regular printing? Heavy cardstock, handmade paper, or vellum? Ribbons and other embellishments or plain? Pocket or other enclosure, tissue, or just stuck into the envelope? I'm sure I'm missing several questions, but I think you get my point!
Invitation envelopes: Another obvious one, unless your invitations create their own envelopes (and I have to say that those are really cool). Make sure that your envelopes will fit all of the stuff you're going to put into them. It doesn't look pretty when they don't quite fit... and you don't want to have to go out and buy another 200 envelopes, do you? Another thing to consider is the traditional double envelope. The outside envelope is gummed and may or may not be lined; the inner is not gummed and is often lined. This doubles the number of envelopes you have to buy (and keep in mind that the outer one should be slightly larger; most places sell these as a set). At the same time, it's a nice touch, especially for a traditional wedding, and your older guests will be especially appreciative. In addition, you can have a calligrapher (or yourself, or a close friend) address the envelopes in a beautiful hand.
RSVP/response cards: A little less traditional; the stalwarts of etiquette will tell you that the only proper way to have your guests RSVP is by phone. Nowadays, it's much more common to include a card each family can send in to RSVP. There are two options: a smaller card with a matching envelope (don't forget postage and a prewritten address!), or a postcard. Postcards need to be at least 3 1/2" x 5" to send them via USPS -- use A2 size, rather than the A4 common for response cards with envelopes.
Reception card: A mini-invitation to the reception itself (since on the invitation it usually just says "reception to follow"). This lists the address of the reception if it's being held at a different location, the time, and possibly the formality of the event (although the formality should be suggested through the invitation style and wording).
Itineraries: A daughter of my mother's cousin (confused yet?) recently got married and sent an itinerary of all the wedding events with the invitation -- I thought it was an excellent idea, especially if you're doing multiple events or have a large number of out-of-town guests coming. It doesn't have to be fancy; just match them to your invitation and include them in the envelope.
Save-the-dates: Send this small notification of your wedding date 6-12 months before the day. You can make these any number of ways (magnets are popular, but you can just send a card). I'm thinking about doing a postcard (printed myself on preperforated 4-up cardstock!) which saves on envelope costs as well as postage. You can have a picture of the two of you, or a motif "previewing" your wedding, whatever you decide! It should include your names, the date, maybe your website if you wish, and the words "invitation (or formal invitation) to follow" because this isn't the actual invitation, just a heads-up.
Shower invitations: If you're the bride, don't worry about this one! But it's just something else that will need to be printed or bought. Match them to the theme of the shower, hosts, and keep it lighthearted. It's okay etiquette-wise to include a card noting where the bride is registered.
Rehearsal dinner invitations: (And other event invitations!) Not really necessary, especially if you invite people via word of mouth or with an insert in the invitation itself. But if you want to make them, be my guest! No pun intended ;) Anyway, match them to the theme of the rehearsal if there is one, and again, keep it a little less heavy and formal than the wedding invitations.
Extras: Maps to the ceremony/reception/rehearsal dinner location, notes that aren't included on the invitation or other enclosures, etc. Make sure your guests are well informed (is the rehearsal dinner across the city from the ceremony site?) and know what they're doing. This is true even for in-town guests!

At the wedding
Programs: A large piece of stationery or a booklet (often tied with a ribbon) with a schedule of events, an explanation of the traditions of the ceremony (and/or reception) -- including lyrics, song titles, and other tidbits that are important to you -- thank yous to the bridal party, parents, and sometimes guests, and often a "who's who" section for the party and parents. These should be given out at the appropriate time: before the ceremony begins if the program explains the ceremony, or between the ceremony and reception if it explains only the reception traditions. You can also do one for each of these and hand them out appropriately.
Escort cards: Small cards that direct the guests where to sit. You only need these if you have assigned tables; if not (like many buffet-style receptions), don't bother! These can be in small frames, as favor tags, or however your heart desires. If a couple is to be seated at the same table, you may only need one for both of them.
Table cards: If you have escort cards, you'll need table cards! These mark each table with a number so guests can find their way to the correct spot.
Placecards: If you have these, you may not need either escort or table cards, unless your caterer needs table numbers for waiters (be sure to ask what they require if you're having a seated and served dinner). They can be anything from simple tent cards to favor tags to small cards in fancy holders. Place them at each seat and have a trusted friend or two direct your guests to the right table.
Extras: A small note explaining the significance of a tradition or choice (for example, explaining the tradition of jordan almonds), a thank-you tag for your favors, an invitation to a brunch the following morning, or anything else that keeps your guests feeling informed and welcome are all lovely extras you may want to consider.

After the wedding
Thank you cards: A normal-sized card expressing your thanks to your guests for attending the wedding, and specific thank-yous for gifts. Write these as soon as you receive gifts if you get any before the wedding, and as soon as you can following the honeymoon for those received on or after the day. A guest traditionally can send a gift up to a year after the wedding, so that's your guideline, too. It's just a better idea to get them done ASAP so you won't be seen as rude and so each gift is fresh in your mind. Thank-you cards can match your wedding theme or have your new married monogram; some have the words "thank you" across the front, but those are seen as generally less formal and the most uptight of us about etiquette would consider them in bad taste. Still, it's up to you. It's the last piece of stationery you'll send them, so make it pretty.

One last word: Don't forget about the postage costs! Remember that many invitations are over the standard maximum weight for a letter and must be given extra postage. Response card envelopes should be stamped; save-the-dates need postage; and thank-you cards will too. Although the brides don't need to worry about shower and other invitation cards, some of you hosts out there will! Remember to include the cost of postage in with your budget -- a ton of invitations means a ton of stamps too.

Tips & Techniques: Out of Town Guests

If you're anything like me, you'll have at least a few out-of-town guests on your list. My family lives all over the US, and my friends are getting spread out too... that means (I may be exaggerating but it feels like) half of our guests will be from a different state! That will unfortunately include my fiance, me and possibly even my parents, if they retire before I get married. Yes, crazy. But there is a way to make sure everything goes smoothly, no one feels awkward, and you don't feel insanely stressed by it all.

Make sure the out-of-town guests know what's going on.
If you were going to an unfamiliar city, you'd want to know what's happening with the event! And it's also useful to know what to do, where to go, and who to call. At a minimum, you should let your guests know the following:

*Dates, times, etc. of all the events they're invited to (shower, rehearsal dinner, etc.) and the expected formality
*Phone numbers of important wedding party and/or family members (and hotel info if they're staying in one)
*Phone numbers of the event venue(s)
*Address of the event venue(s) and directions from several important locations
*Whether you will provide transportation to/from the airport, the venue(s), hotels, etc.
*If you're not providing transportation, information about rental cars, taxis, or other services like public transit

It's also nice to book a chunk of tickets for a flight if you have a number of people coming from the same place and a number of rooms at two nearby hotels: one nicer and one more for the budget-minded. You don't have to pay for them (don't reserve it, but request they be held as a group) but you might be able to get a group discount. That way they'll also have others they know to lessen the stress of travel.

And don't forget to tell yourself what's going on! Make a sheet of when your guests will arrive and leave, where they'll stay (and the number of the hotel, along with the room number if you can get it), and what events they're coming to. If you're arranging any part of their transportation or entertainment, make a note of it as well. It'll save a lot of headaches!

Provide your guests with something to do outside of the wedding.
Don't let your travelers get bored! Although you will be busy for at least the week of your wedding, your guests might not have much to do. It's nice to invite your guests to the rehearsal dinner, but that's not always financially possible. Some families like to host an after-wedding brunch (the following day) or another get-together a different day, but this isn't always easy to do either. So what's a bride and her family to do with the guests needing entertainment? Tell the out-of-towners about the wonderful things to do in your city or town! Most places have plenty of things to do and see -- and will fit nearly any budget (think a trip to an in-town spa or a walk through a nearby park). Better yet, tell them about the things you love to do! Here are a few to get you started:

*Cultural attractions like museums, historical sites, aquariums, and symphony halls
*Sporting places like hiking trails, biking paths, lakes, and parks
*Shopping spots near the venue(s) or hotel(s)
*Interesting urban locations to explore
*Location-specific "places of interest"
*Kid-friendly spots if your guests are bringing children
*Fabulous (and/or reasonably priced!) restaurants near the hotel(s)

Make your travelers feel welcome.
At the least you want to make sure everyone from out of town feels welcomed to your wedding. A "welcome" packet, including the information you want them to know (even if you've put it on a website or sent it out previously) will ease some of the worries they might have about getting to your event. You can even do a bit of decorating -- maybe print the info on a page with your wedding colors or motif, or add a bit of ribbon.

For something a little more involved, you could make up a little "welcome basket" with the same information, plus a few goodies that reflect you, your wedding, or your location. Like favors, they don't have to be expensive and can really make the guest feel good to be there. Of course, you'll probably need to enlist a bit of help -- get your bridesmaids or other helpers to help distribute what you make to the hotel rooms to ease the stress of yet another detail to be worked out.

So what should you include? In addition to the phone numbers and other information, there are a number of things you can put in to treat your guests.

*Homemade goodies, like cookies or candies
*Fresh fruit or packaged snacks (especially good if they've had a long flight)
*A bottle of wine (or a couple bottles of water if they'll be walking around siteseeing!)
*Gift certificates to local services, like the hotel spa or a nearby theater
*Locally made items -- this is especially good if you're having a destination wedding
*One or two "tourist" style maps to help them find interesting extra stops
*A transit map and prepaid transit card (with a note of how many trips or days)
*A personal handwritten "thank you for coming" note

These can all be in a cute basket or another container that fits your theme (bucket for a nautical or beach theme, rhinestone-studded container for a fairytale wedding, etc.). Even a piece of ribbon in one or both of your colors can help tie everything together (literally or figuratively) and help you figure out what you'll do without creating a whole slew of extra decisions.

Make sure that everything you put in your "welcome" is take-home-able. Something too big might not fit in a small suitcase, for example, or overly fragile items could get broken. Like favors, the idea is to be kind, not overly extravagant. Do what works for you -- if that's just a sheet of paper with phone numbers and directions, it's fine! But don't ignore your out-of-town guests; they probably spent money to come see you, so try to show your appreciation however you can, and make them feel as warmly welcomed as possible.

Update

I've added a way to subscribe to this blog, so now you can tell immediately when I add new posts! The option is on the bottom right; click on "posts" under the "subscribe to" heading.

I've got so many ideas buzzing around in my head. I can't wait to get them out! The invitation below is just one of many I've already thought of. It makes me wonder what I'll actually do once I get to my own! But meanwhile, I'll have a few fun ideas for you :)

On the actual wedding front: my fiancé and I went to see what items we might want on our registry (early, yes, but it's nice to do it when there's no pressure). There are so many choices to be made -- it can really overwhelm you if you're not prepared. China patterns, flatware types, stemware, linens, appliances... it gets dizzying fast. If you're not registering right away (and just looking for things that catch your eye, like we were), take a notepad and write down brands and styles you like. It's almost impossible to remember names after hours of pattern-hunting. If you want, get someone from the store to help you match items you're trying to find. If you don't think you have a clue about design, they can probably help. Better yet, bring a fashion- or design-savvy friend with you (preferably one who's also friends with your fiancé[e])!

It's great to go to a store that carries a lot of registry-type items, like Macy's, because that way you can find a large chunk of what you want without having to visit a large number of stores. It can get tiring walking around so many stores, particularly if you've only set aside a few days for registry stuff. Plus those larger chains are all over the U.S., and even with easy online ordering, many people want to see for themselves what they'll be getting you.

Speaking of seeing things for yourself, it's also important that you look at registry items in person. Patterns, textures, and surfaces can look very different online versus in real life, and you don't want to end up with something you're not thrilled about. I wasn't prepared for this -- I found a china pattern I really liked online, but in the store it was only so-so. Disappointing -- and imagine how it would have been if I had ordered it! Don't make the mistake of falling in love with something before seeing it in real life.

How-Tos: Simple Vellum Overlay Invitations

Vellum overlays add a beautiful touch to invitations, from the more traditional to to the modern. Although it looks expensive, 8.5"x11" vellum can be bought at paper-supply stores relatively cheaply. Just make sure you get thin vellum that can be fed through your printer.

Items needed:
* Printed sheet of background graphic of your choice
* 8.5"x11" sheet of vellum
* Cardstock or thick paper
* Length of ribbon to match background graphic
* Scissors or craft knife and straightedge
* Gluestick and/or double-sided tape
* Word-processing or graphic creation software and printer

1. Create your invitation wording on the word-processing software. If possible, save as an image so you can double up and print two per sheet of vellum. I created a box centered on the text so I knew where to trim the excess; it makes cutting the overlay easier. Print it carefully onto the vellum, one sheet at a time. Make sure you don't touch the ink so it has a chance to dry.

2. If you're trying to decide between several different graphic backgrounds, check to see how each looks underneath the invitation wording. You want to be able to read the invitation while still being able to tell what the image is.


3. Cut the cardstock or thick paper to your final invitation size. A good rule of thumb is about 5"x7", and it's better to trim it by about a quarter of an inch or so to ensure it fits into a standard-size envelope. If you want custom size invitations, remember that you'll have to find (or make) custom envelopes, and in some cases (like square invitations) you may need to pay extra postage.

4. Cut the background graphic. In the example I cut it to the same size as the cardstock; however, you may decide that you want to have the cardstock color showing with a smaller graphic.

5. Cut the vellum to size. It's best if the vellum is the same size as the cardstock. Arrange the pieces until you find an eye-pleasing combination. Carefully attach the graphic to the cardstock with a gluestick or double-sided tape (regular white glue will warp the cardstock).

6. Using a tiny dab of glue or a small piece of the double-sided tape on the top center - where the ribbon will be tied - place the vellum overlay to "anchor" it. Cut holes for the ribbon with a craft knife, or use a hole punch, making sure everything still lines up.

7. Thread the ribbon through the holes and tie into a neat bow on the front. Cut the ends if necessary; if they show, cut them diagonally for a nice finish.

Tips & Techniques: Simple Weddings

Most people probably assume that "simple" weddings are easy weddings. Not necessarily! For one thing, what does "simple" really mean? Are we talking about the ceremony? The reception? The theme? The expense? The answer to that question really changes the outcome of the planning process.

When I say "simple" I mean a short, basic ceremony with a streamlined, no-frills reception. These are great for older couples that don't want a lot of fuss, second (or third or fourth) marriages, or couples that just don't want to deal with all the hassle a "normal" wedding can cause. That being said, it doesn't have to be boring or feel "cheap."

Boring weddings are usually also impersonal. They don't connect the guests to the couple and often just feel like going through the motions. What you want for your guests is that they feel you are honored by their presence (hence the wording on the invitations). It's best that everyone feels like they were chosen for good reason - not just another name to tick off the list and add to the gifts. That's where personalized wedding favors - even small, inexpensive ones - can really help you. Explain the things that mean something - even if that's just by getting the best man to grab the mic for a couple minutes. Little touches are often the most important.

"Cheap" weddings are the ones where the guests feel like they are more of a burden to you than a welcome face. It's especially insulting if you obviously spent a lot of money in other areas and decided to spend as little as possible per guest. You can save a lot of money by reducing the amount you spend per person, but do it in a way that still makes it feel special. That's where handmade or otherwise personalized items really work. If you still can't afford the amount you're spending, rethink the guest list: maybe it's better to celebrate your union in a nice way with a few people than to make it bare-bones with a larger number.

If you decide you want a simple wedding, think carefully about what traditions are most important to you. If you couldn't care less about the bouquet toss, don't do it! If you don't want a fancy dinner, pass around some hors d'oeuvres. Streamline everything so it goes smoothly without a lot of distractions.
Secondly, think carefully about your guest list (even without considering the budget). Simple weddings work well for very small, intimate gatherings; your guests can focus on you, not the "stuff" - and because of the small size, you can reciprocate the attention. Larger receptions might feel a bit naked, but this can be fixed by creating the right atmosphere. An interesting, but not busy, location is perfect for a simple wedding.

Bottom line: Simple weddings beg for intimacy and streamlining. Don't go for cheap - go for special.

Welcome

I just got engaged! And like undoubtedly thousands of brides-to-be before me, I want to save as much money on my wedding as possible. I'm sort of crafty, too -- so I'm going DIY as much as possible.

Everyone likes to say that it takes too much time and energy to do the wedding yourself. My trick? I've got three years to think about it -- I know, a long time! -- and, more importantly, tons of people to help me out. I figure it might be fun to share my journey... and anything I can dig up along the way.

There are so many companies that make you pay ridiculous prices for even the simplest item, as long as it has the word "bridal" attached to it. I'd rather skip all that and figure things out myself -- and then share what I've done with all of you! I hope to post free how-tos, patterns, templates, instructions, and anything else I make for myself. I'll also put up links I find to useful sites and anything else I find helpful for DIY brides like me!

Maybe you don't want to do it all yourself. You don't have to -- if you're crafty at all, find a few projects you know you'll love doing. It'll put a personal touch on the festivities and make it more memorable for your guests (or at least for you!). Hopefully you'll be inspired by everything that's out there... and not too overwhelmed!

Good luck, and have fun!